MEDINA, WASHINGTON– After all the recent reports that the new genetically modified mosquitos Bill Gates had released in Florida and Texas have been causing people harm, the billionaire philanthropist set the record straight by promising that his GMO bugs are just as safe and effective as his COVID vaccines were.
During a one-on-one interview with MSNBC, Gates was questioned about all the latest conspiracy theories that his laboratory created mosquitos dropped into southern Republican states were spreading malaria and also injecting the COVID serum into unsuspecting people.
“I promise that I would never hurt anyone, trust me,” said Gates with a Duper’s delight smile as he defended his mad scientist creations. “My COVID vaccines worked just as intended by getting rid of all those victims, I mean, patients’ viral infections. Sometimes you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet.”
Gates said all the reports of hundreds of thousands of people getting adverse side effects or even dying from the COVID shots are just as untrue as all his Frankenstein mosquitos injecting diseases and the MRNA serum into unwilling participants.
“I guarantee that my mosquitos will help with our depopulation agenda,” said Gates, salivating at the thought of population control. “I urge everyone to go outside and enjoy getting bit by my safe and effective mosquitos. The second phase of our depopulation agenda using mosquitos is underway and will hopefully remove more useless eater humans in an effort to combat climate change.”
Once social media began circulating the video of Gates clearly calling for depopulation, numerous leftwing fact checkers said that the video was edited and that the former Microsoft CEO never said he wanted to depopulate the earth with mosquitos but rather that people should copulate with mosquitos.
I’ll pass on both.