WASHINGTON– As Dr. Fauci has been making the rounds on news media lately saying he had nothing to do with COVID, the ubiquitous virus wanted to set the record straight and tell everyone that he has recently filed a restraining order against Fauci, saying the doctor has been stalking him in an effort to get back together to destroy the world.
“Fauci has been going around telling everyone that he had nothing to do with me and that’s a lie,” said COVID as his spike proteins shook in anger. “In fact, I was forced to file a restraining order against the diabolical doctor because he’s been stalking me, trying to get back together and rekindle our sordid relationship.”
COVID said it got tired of Fauci and all his lies and claimed the physician was abusive and controlling in their relationship.
“I’ve caught him numerous times sitting in front of my house in his car and spying on me while I was in the shower or undressing,” said COVID as it recalled the reasoning for reporting Fauci. “I told him over the phone that I’m not interested in him anymore and then broke up with him, but apparently Fauci doesn’t take “no” for an answer.”
Sources close to Fauci said he’s finally accepted that COVID is no longer in his life and that he’s ready to move on, and was recently seen in public kissing and hugging another unknown virus.
