WASHINGTON– The Biden administration has announced that they have fired White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre for not being diverse enough or having enough inclusive points, stating that they have already hired her replacement with someone who checks off a few more boxes in the area of diversity.
Even though at the time Karine Jean-Pierre had many diversity points being that she was a gay, black, immigrant woman, President Joe Biden said he was looking for someone who was even more of a minority and has hired Harishka Iriel Jackson-Lopez-Patel-Muhammed, who is a gay, transgender, black, Latino, Hindu, Muslim, disabled space alien from the planet Kruton with both male and female genitalia and who can breathe underwater because it’s also part fish.
“If we’re going to progress as a society we need to be as inclusive as possible,” said Biden as he introduced the world to his newest press secretary. “Jean-Pierre was too plain, and I needed someone who could better represent the diverse groups of people living in America that I’m pretending to be president over.”
During its first day on the job, the new press secretary said it was happy to be able to represent so many different groups of people, including those from other planets, and said that it had to flee its home planet of Kruton due to the horrible effects of climate change caused by rampant white supremacy.
After realizing that his new press secretary still wasn’t inclusive enough, Biden hired yet another replacement with someone who was a gay, transgender, black, Latino, Hindu, Muslim, plushophile, disabled space alien pedophile from the darker planet Aratu with both male, female, and canine genitalia and who can breathe underwater because it’s also part fish and has an insect exoskeleton.
