NEW YORK, NEW YORK–Producers of The View were pleasantly surprised when the daytime talk show’s ratings increased dramatically after the hosts were replaced with mannequins to fill in their spots rather than putting the program on hiatus and waiting for the bitter hosts to return.
Once the double digit ratings numbers increase came in for the The View’s mannequin guest hosts, producers decided to fire all the annoying, cackling human hosts and keep the more intelligent dummies on fulltime.
“I was totally surprised by the mannequins helping to boost the show’s ratings,” said Arnold Horshack, one of the show’s producers. “Who would’ve thought that viewers would rather watch lifeless, quiet, respectable mannequins instead of a bunch of loud, abrasive harpies rambling on daily about racism, misogyny, orange man bad, and their disgusting feminine hygiene habits.”
The now unemployed former human hosts of The View took to Twitter to complain that the producer’s only fired them due to racism, misogyny, orange man bad, and their feminine hygiene habits.
“This is yet another fine example of the systemic racism plaguing this misogynist country,” said former host Sunny Hostin. “Those talentless mannequins never would’ve been hired had it not been for orange man bad. I know for a fact the American people would rather hear me and my former aging hosts talk about the dilemmas we face daily trying to upkeep our feminine hygiene habits.”
