PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND– A local man named Dennis Wordsmith was left heartbroken and confused once again after getting dumped by his recent girlfriend for wearing his heart on his sleeve, saying he thought that showing his emotions openly was what most women were searching for in a mate.
While sobbing uncontrollably and blowing his nose into his bloody shirt, Wordsmith explained that he has been dumped over one thousand times and has never held a relationship for longer than ten minutes.
“Seriously, I don’t understand why I can’t find love,” said Wordsmith as his heart beat and pumped blood onto the floor around him. “Every time I meet a new girl and I think things are going great she suddenly gets disgusted by me after seeing how I wear my heart on my sleeve so openly. What can I say, I’m a sensitive guy.”
Wordsmith says he’s thought about not being so open with his emotions by not wearing his heart on his sleeve to see if that will help him to keep a woman, but claims that he doesn’t want to hold any secrets from the lady that may turn out to be his future wife.
“Yeah, my friends tell me that maybe I shouldn’t wear my heart on my sleeve on the first date,” said Wordsmith through bloody tears. “But that’s just not who I am. I know one day I’ll find a girl who will appreciate a man who puts his heart out there publicly.”
“Perhaps the problem is I’m not being emotional enough,” said Wordsmith, grabbing his heart and squeezing it. “I think I’m really going to start pouring my heart out with the next girl I meet. She definitely won’t be able to say I’m holding anything back then.”
