WASHINGTON– Relieved that he can finally tell people he’s the legitimate commander-in-chief, Joe Biden announced that he will be dressing up as a real United States president this upcoming Halloween by wearing a blue presidential suit and tie while standing somewhere in the vicinity of the White House instead of the usual movie prop Oval Office.
Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre told White House press corps reporters that Biden is ecstatic about pretending to be a real president this Halloween, and in blissful preparation he has already prepared his favorite brand of diapers for the special occasion for when he finally gets to crap his pants as the real leader of the free world and not just some guy who was illegally installed.
“President Biden has been waiting for this day ever since he was put into office on January 20, 2021,” said Jean-Pierre to reporters, wearing her usual Mark Zuckerberg mask. “The president said that Halloween is a time when people can act out their fantasies and be whatever they want to be. This year he plans on going as a president, as opposed to Halloween in 2020 when he pretended he was a spry Democratic candidate campaigning nonstop.”
Due to the overwhelming support he has received from the majority of Dominion voting machines from across the country, Biden says he’s contemplating on issuing a mandate where every day is Halloween and he can stay president permanently and not have to hand it back over to Donald Trump.
