BEIJING, CHINA– President of the People’s Republic of China Xi Jinping announced the appointment of Coronavirus as ambassador to the United States of America in accordance with a decision by the Standing Committee of the National People’s Congress.
According to a statement from the national legislature on Monday, President Xi made the wise decision due to the recent US-Virus-69 outbreak that is currently ravaging the small, virtuous communist country of China.
Mr. Coronavirus will be replacing Cui Tiankai, who previously served as representative and ambassador to the United States until he mysteriously went missing after questioning President Xi’s choice of using CNN news anchors as mouthpieces for China because of their inability to adequately hide their biased reporting.
Prior to serving as ambassador to the US, Coronavirus was employed at the Wuhan Institute of Virology as head scientist. It was his groundbreaking research to find a cure for the deadly US Virus that led to him being chosen by President Xi as Tiankai’s more noble replacement.
“Due to the US-Virus-69 pandemic that definitely came from the United States,” President Xi told objective Chinese newspaper reporters as they transmitted the news into US news anchor’s earpieces, “I had to appoint Mr. Coronavirus as ambassador to the United States because I needed a stronger, more honest representative who would help make sure the evil western country never infects our innocent China again.”
Due to the impeccable job Ambassador Coronavirus has done to the United States, President Xi will be sending the former scientist to the rest of the world to help other countries in their fight against the deadly Trump-created US-Virus-69 pandemic.
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