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Home » U.S. NEWS » Top 4 Gifts To Get Every Deadbeat Dad This Father’s Day

U.S. NEWS

Top 4 Gifts To Get Every Deadbeat Dad This Father’s Day

Daily Soak Staff
Last updated: December 31, 2019 6:44 pm
Daily Soak Staff
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ATLANTA, GEORGIA– Father’s Day is here once again and millions of children are rushing out to get their wonderful deadbeat dads a last minute gift that he’ll remember for a lifetime.

With so many deadbeat dads out there, it comes as no surprise as to why Father’s Day is one of the most celebrated holidays of the year.

For those last minute shoppers, here are the top four gifts to get your deadbeat dad this year according to a new poll.

4. A pet alligator

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Large alligator biting a man's foot.

What better way to tell your deadbeat dad ‘I love you’ than with his very own pet alligator. An adult alligator weighs approximately 790 pounds, so make sure you also get deadbeat dad an extra strong leash to walk his favorite new pet around town.

3. A dull, rusty face razor

Indian man shaving with a straight razor.

Every deadbeat dad loves getting a gift that’s practical and economical, so what easier and cheaper way to show your love for deadbeat dad than with a dull, rusty razor. Why take a chance at your deadbeat dad cutting his throat with a brand new sharp blade? An old dull blade covered in rust is a much safer alternative. Be mindful of deadbeat dad’s safety.

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2. A stun gun razor

Man sleeping on wooden floor of house.

Speaking of razors, here’s another razor that just may give your deadbeat dad that jolt necessary to make those child support payments. This cool-looking stun gun razor comes with 12 million volts of pure adrenaline-pumping awesomeness. Deadbeat dad won’t know what hit him the next time he wakes up with a hangover and decides to go for his afternoon shave.

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1. A magic condom

Woman with condom in hand as man lies on bed.

Even though this last gift sounds like it’s straight out of a Harry Potter movie, these magic condoms are sure to please the people in deadbeat dad’s life. Created by ingenious Russian scientists, these condoms do their magic after deadbeat dad puts one on as he’s about to mount another unsuspecting woman. Once the condom touches the skin, an artificially created pheromone is released that travels into the woman’s brain, warning her of the impending doom that’s about to take place nine months later.

⚠️ This highly acclaimed article is satire.

TAGGED:AlligatorCondomDeadbeat DadFatherFather's DayGiftRated RRazorRussiaScientistSexStun Gun

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