SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA– A 6.9 magnitude earthquake jolted the San Diego area on Monday after Microsoft billionaire Bill Gates dropped his wallet when he tried showing a friend a photo of his new baby laptop.
The devastating quake occurred on a sunny afternoon in a sunnier part of San Diego just after 2 pm PT with tremors felt as far away as cloudy New Jersey. Witnesses say that the earthquake could have been avoided had Mr. Gates been wearing sunglasses.
“Why’s a rich guy like Gates not wearing sunglasses?” Rudy Iaconelli of Bayonne, New Jersey asked, who felt the aftershocks while he was on the phone with Microsoft support for an unrelated issue. “What friggin’ person lives out in San Diego and doesn’t have sunglasses? I live in a town where the sky’s constantly covered with nuclear waste smoke and even I still wear sunglasses.”
Fortunately, there was no serious injuries, other than some damage to a local computer retailer who only sold Apple products.
Jorge Oswald, a geologist from Culver City, said that the extreme sunny weather may have reflected off of Gates’ baby laptop photo, causing the billionaire to go temporary blind and lose his grip.
“It was an extremely sunny day on Monday” Oswald told local reporters from behind mirrored sunglasses. “I know what happened to Mr. Gates has happened to me a few times. Remember the earthquake of 2010? Yep, that was me.”
The local weather report forecasts sunny days all week in San Diego, while Bayonne, New Jersey is calling for more waste clouds.
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