Airlines Hiring Prostitutes As Stewardesses

BANGKOK, THAILAND– A major airline company out of Thailand has been making headlines lately after they announced that they will only be hiring known Thai prostitutes to work as stewardesses on their airplanes, leading many other airline companies to contemplate also adopting this brilliant strategy.

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According to an ABC news report, thinktanks at the Thai airline company Farang Ke Nok have recently adopted a policy that forbids the employment of non-prostitutes as stewardesses. The exciting move to change the employment process, said to be starting immediately,  didn’t come without an extended amount of research and proper planning. A spokesman for the airline states that the move to hire only local prostitutes was received favorably by American and British men, who account for the majority of passengers to Thailand.

“This idea has a 99% approval rating,” said 43 year old Heia Yet Mae, Farang Ke Nok’s head of operations. “The survey was based on American and British men and 99% of them voted in favor of the hiring of prostitutes as stewardesses.

“Unfortunately, though, there’s some risks,” Yet Mae added with a smile. “Many of these men may never get off the airplane, pardon the pun, and into Thailand. Some of our experts believe that once the passenger has been, um, relieved on the plane, he may just remain on the flight and head back home. We’ve come up with another strategy that we call the fluffing technique. This technique will insure that these passengers have reason to get off the plane first and then finish.”

Officials in Thailand state that approximately 25 million tourists visit the country each year, with 24, 999, 900 of those tourists being American and British men. With the advent of this new policy, officials say, they expect the number of tourists to Thailand to more than double those figures.

“Figures show this’ll benefit everyone,” Yet Mae said, showing reporters a graph with undecipherable stats on it. “Not only will the airlines create thousands of new jobs for these poor young women who are forced to work our dangerous Thai streets, but our tourists will be satisfied and our airline company will see a spike in revenue.”