LONDON, ENGLAND– Making the rounds in numerous British news sources is the shocking discovery that the Queen of England’s most prized headpiece has been found in a strip club located in a seedier part of town.
According to Buckingham Palace spokesman Nigel Farrington, the crown that was retrieved from the Banders Boobs strip club last Friday was not the infamous crown belonging to Her Majesty, rather a fake knockoff.
“This is rubbish,” said Farrington with his nose up in the air. “Her Royal Majesty has never frequented such a place.”
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Not so, says numerous Banders Boobs patrons from the night in question.
“Oh yes, she’s always in here on Friday nights,” said 49 year old Angus Breckinbridge of Liverpool. “She always makes her way in here wearing a beard and sunglasses, looking dodgy. Thing is, she never takes off the crown. All the blokes ’round here know her as the Friday night crumpet, I tell ya.”
News of the controversy spread fast, but surprisingly has actually increased the queen’s popularity numbers.
“She’s one of us, she is,” 22 year old stripper Gwendolyn Ainsworth said while giving a customer a lap-dance. “Now that I know the old boiler comes in here, maybe I’ll give her a bog and a chin-wag back in our fancy room.”
