Democrats Give Chinese Spy Balloon Free Money And Benefits After It Crosses Border
WASHINGTON-- Immediately after the mysterious Chinese spy balloon illegally crossed the northern border into the United States, Democrat politicians began the process of giving the China-created Dreamer free cash, health…
Cheap Chinese Spy Balloon Breaks After Using It Only One Time
HELENA, MONTANA-- A mysterious Chinese spy balloon that has been floating up in the United States sky this past week has suddenly crashed into the ground early this morning after…
Woman Accuses Blind Man Of Using Seeing Eye Dog To Stare At Her Inside Gym
SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA-- A young female TikTokker posted a video on TikTok that has now gone viral which shows a blind man using his seeing eye dog to ogle her…
Putin Laughs After Biden Mistakenly Sends U.S. Tanks To Russia Instead Of Ukraine
MOSCOW, RUSSIA-- In yet another gaffe by the current American president, Joe Biden has accidentally sent all 31 of the U.S. tanks meant for Ukraine to Russia, causing Vladimir Putin…
Woman Gives Up Dangerous Egg Habit In Favor Of Much Safer Crack Cocaine
AUSTIN, TEXAS-- A local woman has heeded the CDC's recommendation and has given up the dangerous consumption of stroke-causing eggs for the much safer habit of smoking crack cocaine. Gayle…
Biden Volunteers To Search For More Classified Documents By Patting Down All Young Women
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to cooperate with federal authorities in the ongoing top secret document investigation, President Joe Biden has offered to help locate more classified documents by patting down…
Pimps Trade Prostitutes For Chickens As Egg Prices Soar
ATLANTIC CITY, NEW JERSEY-- With the price of eggs continuing to rise, pimps across the United States have been trading in their prostitutes for chickens and many are claiming that…
The Sky Slammed On Social Media For Refusing To Show A Rainbow After Rain
U.S.-- The ubiquitous sky has come under fire this week when numerous users on social media pointed out that it had refused to fly a rainbow after a recent rainstorm,…
Police Arrest Gas Stove For Attempting To Suffocate Its Roommate
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- Another dangerous gas stove was taken off the streets Monday when police arrested the hazardous appliance for trying to slowly over time choke its male roommate by…
Biden Awards Presidential Citizens Medal To Hannibal Lecter For Reducing Climate Change By Eating People
WASHINGTON-- As a way to honor regular American citizens who have contributed to democracy, President Joe Biden held a ceremony inside the White House and awarded the prestigious Presidential Citizens…
Teary-Eyed Dan Crenshaw Eyes New Position After Watching Colleague Grab Oversight Committee Role
WASHINGTON-- After seeing the writing on the wall, Texas Republican Dan Crenshaw congratulated his colleague on nabbing an oversight position he had hoped to get and also stated that he…
Biden Travels To Southern Border To Prove Everything’s Fine
EL PASO, TEXAS-- After two years, Joe Biden has finally traveled down to the southern border in an effort to prove all of his detractors wrong, with the president saying…
