RINO Republicans Nominate Actual Speaker For House Speaker After Ousting Jim Jordan
WASHINGTON-- After taking a secret vote to remove Ohio Representative Jim Jordan from becoming the new speaker, a group of RINO Republicans were pleased to announce that they have found…
Biden Sticks His Chin Out To Help Get Humanitarian Aid To Gaza
TEL AVIV, ISRAEL-- While boarding Air Force One to depart Israel, President Joe Biden gave a brief press conference with news reporters about his willingness to stick his chin out…
Zelensky Changes Look To Try And Get More Money As Ukraine Support Wanes
KIEV, UKRAINE-- As the money began drying up due to more Americans losing interest in Ukraine and now supporting Israel, Volodymyr Zelensky decided to change his image by modeling himself…
Biden Flies To Israel To Check In With His Boss
TEL AVIV, ISRAEL-- A worried and subservient President Joe Biden flew to Israel today after he was summoned by his Israeli boss Benjamin Netanyahu to go over in person what…
Trump Learns Sign Language To Get Around Judge’s Gag Order
PALM BEACH, FLORIDA-- After a federal judge barred Donald Trump from speaking about certain aspects of his hush money case, the former president came up with a brilliant idea to…
Gavin Newsom Stands In Solidarity With Israel By Shutting Off Water And Electricity To Californians
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- As the war in the Middle East continues to escalate, Governor Gavin Newsom has made a pledge to stand in solidarity with Israel by also cutting all power…
After Sending Warships To Secure Israel’s Border, Biden Secures US Border By Sending His Thoughts And Prayers
WASHINGTON-- Only hours after Israel was breached by Hamas, Joe Biden quickly began sending aircraft and warships to protect the border of the Middle East foreign country, but also finally…
Eric Swalwell Falls Madly In Love With AOC After She Farts Out Seductive Mating Call
WASHINGTON-- During a recent livestream discussing the brutal war between Israel and Palestine, New York Representative Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (AOC) changed the boring subject over to her horrid dating life…
‘They’re Ruthless,’ Says Ben Shapiro After Hamas Shares AI-Generated Photo Of Him Eating Bacon
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE-- In response to an AI-generated photo shared by Ben Shapiro of a burnt Israeli baby, terrorist group Hamas posted their own fake photo of The Daily Wire host…
Congress Introduces New Updated American Flag That’s More Representative Of The United States
WASHINGTON-- Due to both their undying support and subservience to multiple foreign countries, the US Congress was proud to announce that they recently passed a bill by an almost unanimous…
Millions Of Unvaccinated Americans Still Waiting To Die As Third Anniversary Of Biden’s ‘Winter Of Severe Illness And Death’ Approaches
U.S.-- As the three year anniversary of Biden's warning to the unvaccinated approaches, millions of healthy and happy Americans who chose not to get the COVID shot are somehow still…
George Bush Comes Out Of Retirement Just To Yell ‘Palestine Has Weapons Of Mass Destruction’ To Trick Americans Into War
CRAWFORD, TEXAS-- In an effort to scare hesitant conservative Americans into supporting another war in the Middle East, former President George Bush came out of retirement to give a televised…
