Media Submits Retraction After Discovering Corpse Found In Congress Was Just Mitch McConnell
WASHINGTON-- News media outlets have apologized after reporting that a dead body was discovered in Congress, only later to discover that the seemingly lifeless corpse was just the very much…
DOGE Team Discovers Galactic Empire Was Being Funded By USAID
WASHINGTON-- While auditing the United States Agency For International Development, Elon Musk's DOGE discovered that the autocratic Galactic Empire was being funded by the corrupt federal US agency known as…
No One In Canada Notices As Justin Trudeau Replaced With Cardboard Cutout
OTTAWA, CANADA-- After Justin Trudeau left for his trip to Paris, the Liberal Party of Canada quietly replaced the Canadian prime minister with a life-size cardboard cutout, with Canadian citizens…
Struggling Democrats Start GoFundMe To Help Pay Their Expenses After Trump Halts USAID Grift
WASHINGTON-- As a way to try to help pay for all of their expenses after President Donald Trump stopped the USAID money laundering schemes, financially-strapped Democrat politicians have officially started…
Biden Surprised To Learn He Had Security Clearance After Trump Revokes It
WASHINGTON-- President Donald Trump announced on his Truth Social account that he had recently revoked the security clearance for Joe Biden, which according to sources came as a huge shock…
Democrats Delay Senate Confirmation Votes Until John Fetterman Finds A Suit
WASHINGTON-- Senate Democrats have delayed the confirmation votes for President Donald Trump's Cabinet nominees once again, saying they would only begin the process once Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman finds a…
Democrats Warn Trump, DOGE It’s Unconstitutional To Stop Their USAID Money Laundering Schemes
WASHINGTON-- Angry Democrats took to the streets to protest President Donald Trump shutting down USAID after Elon Musk's DOGE discovered billions of dollars of American taxpayer dollars being used for…
FBI Not Happy After Being Told To Start Investigating Real Criminals Instead Of Political Opponents
WASHINGTON-- Agents at the FBI have been in an uproar after President Donald Trump's new team told the federal employees that they now must start investigating real criminals rather than…
Hunter Biden Volunteers To Be Canada’s New Fentanyl Czar
OTTAWA, CANADA-- President Donald Trump and Prime Minister Justin Trudeau made a mutual agreement to remove the tariffs on Canada and the US after making a deal that Trudeau would…
Groundhog Day: Jim Cramer Sees Shadow, Predicts An Early Spring
U.S.-- CNBC Mad Money host Jim Cramer has made yet another controversial prediction on Groundhog Day after coming out of his studio and seeing his shadow in the snow, thereby…
Justin Trudeau Threatens To Trample A Little, Old Grandmom Every Day Until Trump Cancels Tariffs
OTTAWA, CANADA-- In response to President Donald Trump imposing tariffs on Canadian goods into the US, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has issued his own threat by promising he will…
Defiant Gavin Newsom Tries To Hold Back Rushing Dam Water In Order To Spite Trump
CALIFORNIA-- In order to prevent President Donald Trump from bringing much-needed water to California, a very defiant Gavin Newsom decided to spite the president by standing in front of the…
