WASHINGTON– In an effort to improve his image as a corrupt RINO Republican, Texas Congressman Dan Crenshaw revealed his new clean-shaven face during an interview on Fox News Sunday morning, not realizing that only half of his face was smooth.
Dan Crenshaw has been taking a lot of heat over the last couple years after being outed as a RINO (Republican In Name Only) and decided to try and draw attention away from his corrupt ways and Democrat leanings by changing his appearance.
“I figured it was time for a change,” said Dan Crenshaw during a Fox & Friends program as the hosts tried not staring at Dan’s half-shaved face. “I’m sick and tired of people calling me a RINO and I’m also damn tired of all the pirate jokes about me wearing an eyepatch so I thought what better way to stop people from making fun of me than to completely, one hundred percent shave off my beard.”
One of the uncomfortable Fox News hosts quietly asked Dan Crenshaw if he was still in the process of shaving his beard or if he was cutting it off in stages.
“Of course, I’m done shaving my beard,” said Crenshaw angrily. “What kind of stupid question is that to ask a sitting Congressman? I just checked the mirror before coming on air and I didn’t miss one hair. Let’s see all those Twitter X trolls like Catturd try and make fun of me now.”
An irate Crenshaw ended the interview by saying he was going to turn a blind eye to all his online critics, but promises to keep an eye out for anyone who took the jokes too far.
