MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA– After an unsuccessful attempt at eradicating the COVID virus with lockdowns, vaccinations, masking, and brutally beating the Australian population, politicians finally found a cure for the dreaded pandemic by executing every single living person within the land down under.
Ecstatic government officials gave a press conference Sunday to tell the world the great news, that Australia had zero cases of COVID for the very first time since they killed the last Australian in the country.
“We’re so happy to announce that we’ve had zero reported cases of COVID today,” said Prime Minister Scott Morrison to an empty press briefing room. “I owe a great debt of gratitude to the former living people of Australia. You’re sacrifice will not go unnoticed, as I will be thinking about every one of you while I’m enjoying the now empty beaches and perfectly clear highways.”
Even though the Prime Minister says eradicating the virus is good news, he admits that a small part of him misses torturing the millions of former Australian citizens and he’ll be turning his attention to helping dictators in other countries with their pandemic problem.
“I’m looking forward to helping our neighboring countries with eradicating their people, I mean, virus problem,” quipped Morrison as he laughed over the smell of rotting corpses.
UPDATE: After this article was written, it was reported that Prime Minister Morrison was given the same COVID “cure” as the Australian population by the new world order globalists once they deemed he was no longer needed to further their Satanic agenda.
Crikey!
Send in the roos, mate.