NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK– Health officials have issued a public health alert in response to an increase of mainstream media news coverage across the United States, causing concern for many easily deceived individuals.
The New York Spin Department of Fake Real News Media Services identified dozens of high-profile media outlets and hundreds of smaller news organizations that have been spreading fake real information on television, radio, internet, newspaper, and messages on bathroom walls.
Numerous health departments issued the alert as a way to raise awareness to the seriousness of succumbing to the mainstream media bug.
Dr. Mark Cyst, Fake Real News Media Services’ medical director, said hundreds of thousands of people have already been infected, and also predicted that millions more will be brainwashed by the end of the month if drastic changes aren’t implemented.
“We must act now,” Dr. Cyst warned, explaining the dangers of news media spinning to dozens of news media spinning reporters. “We are counting on your networks to get the message out to communities about the dangers of watching large media conglomerates, such as CNN, MSNBC, NBC, Fox News, and so on.”
Health officials say people who are already prone to naiveté are more vulnerable to severe symptoms, which include extreme gullibility, difficulty thinking for yourself, and shortness of brain functioning.
Spin Doctor Cyst said the health alert was issued to ask everyone to take the necessary precautions to stay safe from the ill-effects of the mainstream media news virus.
He said anyone who has recently watched any news programs, and is experiencing novel mainstream media fake news virus symptoms, should turn off their television or computer immediately and use commonsense.
