RFK Jr. Says He Waited Until His Brain Worm Was Full Term Before Aborting It
U.S.-- Independent presidential candidate RFK Jr. gave a candid interview with former ESPN host Sage Steele where he stated that his stance on abortion is even up until full term,…
Kristi Noem Tries Making Amends With Dog Lovers By Shooting Her Cat
PIERRE, SOUTH DAKOTA-- After facing nationwide backlash from both Republicans and Democrats alike for killing her dog, South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem tried apologizing to the millions of dog lovers…
Democrats Vote To Allow People Who Identify As They/Them To Vote Multiple Times
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to be as inclusive as possible and not discriminate against people of different pronouns, House Democrats voted unanimously to allow Americans who identify as they/them to…
Boeing Promises Their New Line Of Hindenburg Airships Are Just As Safe As Their Planes
U.S.-- Facing national backlash after yet another plane malfunctioned this week, longtime aircraft company Boeing unveiled a new line of airships modeled exactly from the famous Hindenburg that exploded back…
France Already Surrenders To Russia Before Even Getting Into Any Conflict
PARIS, FRANCE-- After threatening to send French troops to help Ukraine and then getting told by Vladimir Putin they would be attacked, France has officially waved the white flag and…
Lucky Day: Zelensky Finds $2 Million That Fell Between His Couch Cushions
KIEV, UKRAINE-- It was a lucky day for Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelensky after sitting down on his $100,000 couch and finding $2 million that had fallen out of his pants…
Communist China Impressed With US Congress Ban On Free Speech
BEIJING, CHINA-- As news spread of the passing of the Antisemitism Awareness Act by Congress that attempts to ban free speech, many world dictators congratulated the US politicians on their…
FBI Starts Monitoring Christians To Make Sure No One’s Reading The New Testament
U.S.-- As part of the Antisemitism Awareness Act passed by a bipartisan Congress, brave FBI agents will now be monitoring the homes of the millions of Christians living in the…
CIA On Spying Allegations: ‘We Investigated Ourselves And Cleared Ourselves Of Any Wrongdoing’
WASHINGTON-- After damning evidence and undercover video surfaced showing the CIA purposely worked against then President Donald Trump as well as spied on Americans, the federal intelligence service was quick…
Chewbacca Furious At Barber After Saying Only Take A Little Off The Top
MOS EISLEY-- While waiting at the Mos Eisley spaceport on Tatooine, Wookiee Chewbacca visited the local barber to get a little trim before takeoff and was livid once he looked…
Nancy Pelosi’s Nose Starts Growing Suddenly While Touting Biden’s Flourishing Economy
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has been making the news rounds recently in an effort to stop Donald Trump from becoming president and…
Biden Bans TikTok After Video Service Forgets To Give 10 Percent To The Big Guy
WASHINGTON-- Joe Biden has officially signed into law a controversial bill that could permanently ban TikTok, and the president was quick to tell the Chinese-owned video sharing service that the…
