LONDON, UK — In a dramatic and completely serious press conference, UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer announced his resignation today due to record-shattering unpopularity and exhausting scandal headlines, revealing that his replacement would be his long-lost sister Keira Starmer.
The announcement came during a hastily called event at 10 Downing Street, where Keir Starmer officially stepped down from office and then introduced the world to the next Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.
“After deep reflection, I have decided to resign,” Starmer told reporters as his hands shook violently. “The British people have spoken and have asked for new leadership. That is why I am stepping down and appointing my very lovely sister Keira as interim prime minister until we can find a suitable replacement in one or six years.”
“Now, if you’ll excuse me,” he added, “I’m going to leave for a few minutes and have my sister Keira come out and introduce herself.”
After Keir left the room, a few moments later, his sister Keira entered wearing makeup, a blonde wig, and oversized glasses. Keira bore a striking resemblance to her brother and even sounded exactly like him.
The new female prime minister stated that she would continue all the same existing policies as her brother Keir, keeping the same staff and sitting in the same office chair—but with her legs open rather than crossed.
