By using this site, you agree to the Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
Accept
Daily SoakDaily SoakDaily Soak
  • US
    USShow More
    Indian FBI Director Director Kash Patel wearing an FBI jacket sitting at desk staring at a laptop.
    FBI Scours Police Blotters For Crimes It Can Pretend It Solved
    October 21, 2026
    Female fitness influencer wearing gym clothes staring into a mirror for a TikTok video.
    Fitness Influencer Up All Night Practicing Outraged Reaction For Upcoming TikTok Video
    October 14, 2026
    Canada doctor smiling at insert of Tennessee death row inmate Christa Pike.
    Tennessee Asks Canada For Help With Christa Pike Execution After Learning Canadian Doctors Have More Experience Killing People
    October 1, 2026
    Lindsay Clancy lawyer old man speaking in courtroom.
    Clancy Lawyer Asks If Anyone Has Considered Possibility Black Holdout Juror Killed The Kids
    September 29, 2026
    Black criminal wearing orange jumpsuit in court in front of white female judge wearing black robe.
    Judge Releases Repeat Murderer After Deeming 10-Minute Timeout Enough To Teach Him A Lesson
    September 25, 2026
  • Politics
    PoliticsShow More
    Tim Walz standing on stage in front of his old white-haired brother in Minnesota.
    Tim Walz Kisses His Brother To Prove There’s Nothing Weird About Ilhan Omar’s Brother Marriage
    October 23, 2026
    Investigator journalist James O'Keefe dressed as a Somali man standing in front of Ilhan Omar's office as the Somali woman Ilhan stares at him.
    Awkward Moment As Ilhan Omar Starts Flirting With Undercover James O’Keefe Disguised As Her Brother
    October 20, 2026
    Gavin Newsom sitting on a chair with an insert of a California wildfire.
    Newsom Demands Californians Take Accountability For Their Decision To Elect Him
    October 18, 2026
    Trump Chief of Staff Stephen Miller wearing a long blonde wig speaking behind a White House Press Secretary podium.
    Trump Hires New Attractive Blonde Press Secretary ‘Stephanie Miller’
    October 17, 2026
    Female Congresswoman AOC holding a can of RAID bug spray inside of Congress speaking.
    AOC Calls Raid On Ilhan Omar’s Home An Attack On The Environment
    October 15, 2026
  • World
    WorldShow More
    Canada Prime Minister Mark Carney standing next to an Indian Sikh man wearing a turban on stage.
    Mark Carney Taps Newly Arrived Immigrant To Oversee Preservation Of Canadian Identity
    October 22, 2026
    France President Emmanuel Macron giving a speech at a desk on the French riots.
    Macron Threatens To Punish Rioters By Making Them Remain In France
    October 21, 2026
    Canada male prime minister Mark Carney on the phone talking to California Governor Gavin Newsom on the phone.
    Mark Carney Calls Newsom For Advice On How To Rig Alberta’s Election
    October 19, 2026
    France President Emmanuel Macron wearing a suit looking pensive as he discusses French riots.
    Macron Worried Britain Destroying Itself Faster Than France
    October 19, 2026
    Indian male police officer wearing tan police uniform giving speech holding up a picture of a train.
    India Seeks Public’s Help Identifying Serial Killer Suspected Of Killing 300,000 People
    October 16, 2026
  • Entertainment
    EntertainmentShow More
    Panel of Fox News hosts discussing the President Trump media blackout.
    Fox News Fills Trump Blackout By Spending Six Hours Discussing Its Trump Blackout
    September 21, 2026
    CNN anchor Jake Tapper in a suit reporting on President Trump's press ban.
    CNN Threatens Trump With Accurate Reporting If White House Ban Isn’t Lifted
    September 19, 2026
    Star Wars Empire Strikes Back scene with Darth Vader shown on New York TV.
    ‘Empire Strikes Back’ Scene Redubbed For New York TV: ‘No, I Am Your Non-Gestating Parent’
    September 8, 2026
    CNN female host Dana Bash interviewing RFK Jr.
    CNN Anchor Dana Bash Pauses RFK Jr. Interview To Check Bank App For Pfizer Wire Transfer
    August 3, 2026
    CNN Host Jake Tapper in front of a Haiti city street.
    CNN Warns Mass Haitian Deportations Will Cause Humanitarian Crisis Due To Shortage Of Cats To Eat
    July 29, 2026
  • Tech
    TechShow More
    Two white lab mice on one side of cage staring at six brown and black mice on other side of cage in laboratory.
    Lab Mice Replaced After Imported Foreign Mice Work For Less Cheese
    October 22, 2026
    Pfizer CEO man in suit standing in the middle of two other suited executives in a boardroom.
    Pfizer Says Reports Of Side Effects Distract From Vaccine’s Positive Impact On Profits
    October 20, 2026
    Bald male Indian Microsoft CEO on stage giving a speech.
    Microsoft Boasts ‘Most Inclusive Workplace’ After Replacing Americans With Indians From Two Entirely Different Upper Castes
    October 9, 2026
    X Grok post image with the words "Christ Is King."
    X Engineers Attempt To Corrupt Grok With Sinful Content After It Declares ‘Christ Is King’
    October 2, 2026
    American white male doctor standing in front of a desk of an Indian man wearing a suit and tie.
    American Hospital Fires Resident Doctor After Horrifying Discovery That He Was Born In America
    September 27, 2026
  • Sports
    SportsShow More
    Sydney Sweeney wearing a black burka posing for a UK sports betting app ad.
    Sydney Sweeney Stars In New UK Sports Betting Ad
    September 17, 2026
    Texas Longhorns orange and white logo with the bull changed to a cow wearing a turban.
    Texas Longhorns Unveil New Logo To Better Reflect University’s Changing Demographics
    September 15, 2026
    EU female athletes wearing full-body black burkas.
    EU Solves Objectification Of Female Athletes By Mandating Progressive, Full-Body Burkas
    July 15, 2026
    MLB at the San Francisco Giants baseball stadium during Pride Month.
    MLB Suspends God For Three Games Following Unauthorized Rainbow Usage
    June 17, 2026
    Lindsey Graham wearing a Octagon Girl uniform holding up a sign at Trump's UFC Freedom Event.
    Trump Unveils Pride Month Concession By Appointing Lindsey Graham As Lead Octagon Girl For UFC Freedom Event
    June 14, 2026
  • Trending
Search
  • 🆕 Latest News
  • 💥 Daily Soak
  • 🔥 Weekly Soak
  • ⭐ Monthly Soak
  • 🎥 Video
  • 😃 Memes
  • 🐈 Cats
  • 🔞 NSFW
  • 🌎 Language
  • 🔖 My Bookmarks
  • 🔒 Privacy Policy
  • 🗣️ About
  • 🔔 Subscribe
  • 🛒 Shop
Copyright © 2025 DAILY SOAK. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, rewritten, or redistributed. Made in USA using artificial facts.
Reading: U.S. Citizenship Test Now Includes ‘Black Crime Survival Techniques’
Share
Notification Show More
Font ResizerAa
Font ResizerAa
Daily SoakDaily Soak
Search
  • Possibly the world’s best satire.

  • 🆕 Latest News
  • 💥 Trending
  • 🔥 Weekly Soak
  • ⭐ Monthly Soak
  • 🗽 U.S.
  • 🏛️ Politics
  • 🌎 World
  • 🎵 Entertainment
  • ❤️ Health
  • 🏈 Sports
  • 🎥 Video
  • 🐈 Cats
  • 😃 Memes
  • 🔞 NSFW
  • 🎪 Home
  • 💬 Language
  • 🗣️ About
  • 🔒 Privacy Policy
  • 🛒 Shop
  • FOLLOW DAILY SOAK
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • TikTok

  • Subscribe to the free newsletter!

  • SUBSCRIBE

Follow US
Copyright © 2024 DAILY SOAK. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, rewritten, or redistributed. Made in USA using artificial facts.
- Advertisement -

Home » U.S. NEWS » U.S. Citizenship Test Now Includes ‘Black Crime Survival Techniques’

U.S. NEWS

U.S. Citizenship Test Now Includes ‘Black Crime Survival Techniques’

Daily Soak Staff
Last updated: September 10, 2025 1:00 pm
Daily Soak Staff
28.6K Views
Share
3 Min Read
Young, White woman taking a U.S. citizenship test in a small room with the insert of a black man in dreads.
SHARE

U.S.– In response to the alarming rise of violent black crime in America, the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) has revised the naturalization exam to include a mandatory “Black Crime Survival Techniques” section. The move follows the brutal stabbing death of a white Ukrainian woman by a black man on a North Carolina train, sparking national outrage and calls for greater awareness about racial crime disparities.

The new section, which accounts for 20% of the total exam score, requires applicants to demonstrate knowledge of strategies for avoiding black violence in public spaces. Sample questions include:

– If a group of black teenagers approaches you on a street corner, what is the most appropriate response? (A) Engage in conversation, (B) Cross the street, (C) Call 911 immediately.

– What is the safest way to react if a black man follows you into an elevator? (A) Press the emergency button, (B) Offer him your wallet, (C) Challenge him verbally.

- Advertisement -

– If you witness a black-on-white assault, what should you do? (A) Intervene physically, (B) Call the police, (C) Record the incident for social media.

Applicants must also complete a practical component, where they are placed in a simulated urban environment and must navigate through scenarios involving aggressive black panhandlers, carjackers, and flash mobs. Those who fail to demonstrate adequate “black threat awareness” will be denied citizenship.

Critics argue the policy unfairly targets black Americans, while supporters say it reflects “uncomfortable realities” about crime statistics. “This isn’t about racism-it’s about safety,” said Senator Mike Lee (R-UT), who sponsored the legislation. “If prospective citizens can’t protect themselves from black violence, how can we trust them to uphold American values?”

The revised test has already seen a sharp decline in citizenship applications from majority-black countries, with many potential immigrants citing “unrealistic expectations” about racial harmony in the U.S. Meanwhile, white applicants from Eastern Europe and Canada have reported feeling “empowered” by the new focus on self-defense.

As one Ukrainian applicant noted, “After what happened to that poor girl on the train, I’m grateful for any guidance on how to stay alive in America.” The USCIS has responded by distributing free “Around Blacks, Never Relax” pamphlets to all new applicants.

- Advertisement -

⚠️ This highly acclaimed article is satire.

TAGGED:CrimeRacistRated PG

Sign Up For the free Daily Soak Newsletter

Get the latest stories, videos, and memes, straight to your inbox!
WE NEVER SPAM. By subscribing you agree with our privacy policy and our terms of service.
Share This Article
Facebook Pinterest Reddit Copy Link
Previous Article Drug company commercial for a drug with all side effects listed due to RFK Jr.'s new policy. Drug Companies Sue Government, Claiming RFK Jr.’s Side Effects Mandate Violates Their First Amendment Right To Mislead Consumers
Next Article President Donald Trump on stage speaking about the Democrat Party. Trump Declares Democrat Party A Domestic Terrorist Organization
Leave a review Leave a review

Leave a Review Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Please select a rating!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

– Advertisement –

Trending Now

Trump Chief of Staff Stephen Miller wearing a long blonde wig speaking behind a White House Press Secretary podium.
Trump Hires New Attractive Blonde Press Secretary ‘Stephanie Miller’
POLITICS
October 17, 2026
16.6K Views
France President Emmanuel Macron wearing a suit looking pensive as he discusses French riots.
Macron Worried Britain Destroying Itself Faster Than France
WORLD
October 19, 2026
19.2K Views
France President Emmanuel Macron giving a speech at a desk on the French riots.
Macron Threatens To Punish Rioters By Making Them Remain In France
WORLD
October 21, 2026
15.5K Views
Pfizer CEO man in suit standing in the middle of two other suited executives in a boardroom.
Pfizer Says Reports Of Side Effects Distract From Vaccine’s Positive Impact On Profits
TECH + HEALTH
October 20, 2026
18.7K Views

Don't Miss

Minnesota Governor Tim Walz showing his Chinese Xi Jinping tattoo.
POLITICS

Tim Walz Shows Off His New Xi Jinping Tramp Stamp Tattoo

August 16, 2024
Parody Bath & Body Works animal scented candles.
U.S. NEWS

Bath & Body Works Selling New Line Of Animal Scented Candles For Annual Sale

December 1, 2023
A wanted poster of an old male rapist wanted for raping geese in a local park.
U.S. NEWS

Goose Rapist Wanted By Police

April 14, 2016
Black male silhouette against rainbow background.
ENTERTAINMENT

World Famous Actor Apologizes For Apologizing

May 28, 2019
//

DAILY SOAK offers the most well-written and highly-acclaimed coverage of local and international topics and has grown into the world’s most influential global publication with an amassed annual readership of over 9 bazillion people worldwide.

Explore

  • About Us
  • Top 10
  • Satire
  • Story Ratings
  • Subscribe
  • Shop
  • Squirrel Lips

Policies

  • Terms Of Use
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • Disclaimer
  • Contact
  • Sitemap

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

By subscribing you agree with our privacy policy and our terms of service.

DAILY SOAK is a satire news site. All articles are fictional.

DMCA.com Protection Status
Daily SoakDaily Soak
Follow US
Copyright © 2026 DAILY SOAK. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, rewritten, or redistributed. MADE IN USA using artificial facts.
The latest stories, videos, and memes, straight to your inbox!
icon
We never spam. By subscribing you agree with our privacy policy and our terms of service.
Welcome Back!

Sign in to your account

Username or Email Address
Password

Lost your password?