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Home » U.S. NEWS » U.S. Citizenship Test Now Includes ‘Black Crime Survival Techniques’

U.S. NEWS

U.S. Citizenship Test Now Includes ‘Black Crime Survival Techniques’

Daily Soak Staff
Last updated: September 10, 2025 1:00 pm
Daily Soak Staff
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Young, White woman taking a U.S. citizenship test in a small room with the insert of a black man in dreads.
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U.S.– In response to the alarming rise of violent black crime in America, the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) has revised the naturalization exam to include a mandatory “Black Crime Survival Techniques” section. The move follows the brutal stabbing death of a white Ukrainian woman by a black man on a North Carolina train, sparking national outrage and calls for greater awareness about racial crime disparities.

The new section, which accounts for 20% of the total exam score, requires applicants to demonstrate knowledge of strategies for avoiding black violence in public spaces. Sample questions include:

– If a group of black teenagers approaches you on a street corner, what is the most appropriate response? (A) Engage in conversation, (B) Cross the street, (C) Call 911 immediately.

– What is the safest way to react if a black man follows you into an elevator? (A) Press the emergency button, (B) Offer him your wallet, (C) Challenge him verbally.

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– If you witness a black-on-white assault, what should you do? (A) Intervene physically, (B) Call the police, (C) Record the incident for social media.

Applicants must also complete a practical component, where they are placed in a simulated urban environment and must navigate through scenarios involving aggressive black panhandlers, carjackers, and flash mobs. Those who fail to demonstrate adequate “black threat awareness” will be denied citizenship.

Critics argue the policy unfairly targets black Americans, while supporters say it reflects “uncomfortable realities” about crime statistics. “This isn’t about racism-it’s about safety,” said Senator Mike Lee (R-UT), who sponsored the legislation. “If prospective citizens can’t protect themselves from black violence, how can we trust them to uphold American values?”

The revised test has already seen a sharp decline in citizenship applications from majority-black countries, with many potential immigrants citing “unrealistic expectations” about racial harmony in the U.S. Meanwhile, white applicants from Eastern Europe and Canada have reported feeling “empowered” by the new focus on self-defense.

As one Ukrainian applicant noted, “After what happened to that poor girl on the train, I’m grateful for any guidance on how to stay alive in America.” The USCIS has responded by distributing free “Around Blacks, Never Relax” pamphlets to all new applicants.

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⚠️ This highly acclaimed article is satire.

TAGGED:CrimeRacistRated PG

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