LUXEMBOURG– After being rushed to a hospital yesterday due to dangerously low alcohol levels, former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was said to be recovering quite rapidly after she was given IV therapy containing 80 proof Russian vodka.
Physicians treating Nancy Pelosi were stunned at how well she responded to the alcohol treatment and said she should be up and around after about four more bags of the hard liquor.
“Mrs. Pelosi has responded quite well to the high proof vodka therapy,” said Dr. Hans Gruber, who has been treating the 84-year old American politician since she was admitted. “After running a series of tests, we concluded that Mrs. Pelosi had gone over ten minutes without having a drink, which caused her body to go into withdrawal. Once she has made a full recovery, we will take her off of IV treatment and just let her drink right out of a bottle.”
Sources have confirmed that Nancy Pelosi was said to be in good spirits, with her blood-alcohol level already back up to a healthy 0.70% and rising.
At publishing time, it was reported that Pelosi was feeling much better and was already up yelling, fighting, and slurring her speech, saying she was looking forward to getting back to helping to destroy America.
