QUAHOG, RHODE ISLAND– A federal judge has finally approved the long-awaited release of the Epstein documents, with many celebrity names mysteriously absent from the infamous client list. One of those names missing was famous cartoon actor Herbert the Pervert from the Family Guy series who said he was extremely disappointed that his name wasn’t anywhere on the documents.
The elderly Herbert told news reporters that before the release of the Jeffrey Epstein documents he was very excited in the hopes that his name would be on there and more people would find out that he was actually a proud pedohebephile.
“I couldn’t believe it when I saw my name wasn’t on those papers,” said Herbert in an aged but high-pitched voice as he stood in the middle of a children’s playground. “I spent my entire life trying to convince people of who I really am, but most people just shrugged it off. I really hoped that people would finally be convinced I’m a pervert when they saw my name on Mr. Epstein’s list.”
Herbert said he visited the Epstein sex island hundreds of times, and also claimed he was the one who convinced the deceased billionaire convicted sex trafficker to start the illegal business.
“Bill Clinton was with Epstein less than thirty times, yet he gets all the credit,” said Herbert with tears in his wrinkled eyes. “I was at that island so many times that Jeffrey named one of the underground tunnels after me and called it the Herbert Hole.”
The popular Family Guy character said that he had proof he was on the sex island, citing the fact that he has never been raided by the FBI.
