BERLIN, GERMANY– Officials in Germany have recently implemented a new program called Adopt-A-Refugee Day where German citizens must adopt a different refugee every Friday and take them into their homes where the refugee will be given complete control of the home for the entire weekend.
In an interview with German news source Miststück, reappointed German Chancellor Angela Merkel said that the mandatory program was necessary due to the fact that German citizens haven’t been helpful enough with the integration of millions of unknown, possibly dangerous refugees into the country.
“I call it tough love,” Merkel told Miststück reporters after she gave the keys to her Mercedes Benz to her own adopted refugee. “The German people haven’t been compliant enough with the necessary alterations to the Deutschland . Without the influx of these millions of refugees, our country will not survive.”
While it is true that the millions of refugees have made a drastic difference in German culture, many German people feel that Merkel’s Adopt-A-Refugee program is taking it too far.
“I have to sleep in my car every night,” said 46 year old Hans Fetzer by way of translator. “Now that these refugees have been given legal right to take control of my home, the refugees force me to sleep in my car every night while they sleep in the same bed as my wife. I really hope Merkel stops this program soon, because my wife’s starting to get really sore.”
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu told CNN Israel news reporters that Germany’s new Adopt-A-Refugee Day program is a wonderful idea and that it will help Germany to finally build some character.
“Germany needs this,” Bibi Netanyahu said, drinking expensive Golan wine while soaking in his bathtub. “It’s good to see Miss Merkel finally taking a stand and doing her job for a change.”
When asked if Israel will also give the Adopt-A-Refugee Day program a try, Netanyahu spit up his wine and laughed.
“You gotta be kidding me,” he chuckled. “Not a chance.”
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars
Merkel probably would do this.