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Congress Senator Mitch McConnell with blood dripping from his mouth dressed as a zombie for Halloween.

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Tim Walz Kisses His Brother To Prove There’s Nothing Weird About Ilhan Omar’s Brother Marriage

ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA – Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz reportedly kissed his own brother…

Daily Soak Staff

Mark Carney Taps Newly Arrived Immigrant To Oversee Preservation Of Canadian Identity

OTTAWA, CANADA — Prime Minister Mark Carney announced Tuesday that newly arrived…

Daily Soak Staff

Lab Mice Replaced After Imported Foreign Mice Work For Less Cheese

BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS — A team of biomedical researchers announced Thursday that it…

Daily Soak Staff

FBI Scours Police Blotters For Crimes It Can Pretend It Solved

WASHINGTON — In a bold bid to maintain the illusion of relevance,…

Daily Soak Staff

Macron Threatens To Punish Rioters By Making Them Remain In France

PARIS, FRANCE — French President Emmanuel Macron issued a stern warning to…

Daily Soak Staff

Pfizer Says Reports Of Side Effects Distract From Vaccine’s Positive Impact On Profits

NEW YORK — Pfizer executives expressed frustration that persistent reports of COVID…

Daily Soak Staff

Awkward Moment As Ilhan Omar Starts Flirting With Undercover James O’Keefe Disguised As Her Brother

MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — Investigative journalist James O'Keefe reportedly found himself in an…

Daily Soak Staff

Mark Carney Calls Newsom For Advice On How To Rig Alberta’s Election

OTTAWA, CANADA — With Alberta voters heading to the polls to decide…

Daily Soak Staff

Macron Worried Britain Destroying Itself Faster Than France

PARIS, FRANCE — French President Emmanuel Macron reportedly grew concerned Monday that…

Daily Soak Staff

Newsom Demands Californians Take Accountability For Their Decision To Elect Him

SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA – With California residents once again struggling to contain devastating…

Daily Soak Staff

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