Biden Hides Wallet Before Nervously Entering Philadelphia Wawa During Staged Visit
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA-- While on his staged visit to a local convenience store in a rough part of Philadelphia to pretend he's a man of the people, President Joe Biden stopped…
Biden Rally Reaches Record Numbers After One Man Shows Up At Gas Station Appearance
PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA-- News media outlets are congratulating Joe Biden on his recent record-breaking rally attendance at a Sheetz gas station where one lone supporter showed up to greet the president…
Trump Offers Bill Barr Bucket Of Fried Chicken To Retract Presidential Endorsement
PALM BEACH, FLORIDA-- After hearing corrupt Bill Barr on a recent Fox News program endorsing him for president, Donald Trump was quick to denounce the unwanted endorsement and offered his…
Gavin Newsom Passes Bill Forcing Retailers To Offer Home Delivery To Shoplifters
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- As a way to ease the burden of hardworking shoplifters, progressive Governor Gavin Newsom responded by signing a bill that will force all retailers in California to…
NPR Suspends Karl Marx For Not Being Far-Left Enough
WASHINGTON-- National Public Radio (NPR) has suspended its longtime editor Karl Marx this week, saying the revolutionary socialist wasn't far-left enough and didn't quite fit in with the company's growing progressive…
Last Day To File Taxes To Be Able To Claim Zelensky As A Dependent
U.S.-- For most of the country, today is the last day to file your taxes and millions of taxpaying American citizens have been inundating their local IRS offices with the…
US Military Draft Age People Suddenly Wondering If It Was Such A Good Idea To Vote For Biden
U.S.-- With the threat of nuclear World War 3 on America's doorstep thanks to the incompetency of the current president, millions of military draft-eligible American citizens have been quietly second-guessing…
Biden Places Ballot Boxes In Foreign Countries For Illegal Aliens Who Want To Vote Early
WASHINGTON-- As a way to make sure that every vote is counted, President Joe Biden had thousands of general election ballot boxes placed all around the world so that any…
FDA Forced To Apologize To Horse Community For Equine-Phobic Ivermectin Stance
SILVER SPRING, MARYLAND-- After losing a court case for their anti-Ivermectin stance by saying the controversial drug was only for horses, the FDA was forced to both retract their statements…
Prostate Cancer Found ‘Not Guilty’ Of Killing O.J. Simpson
LAS VEGAS, NEVADA-- Prostate cancer has been found not guilty of killing former football player and actor O.J. Simpson by a jury of its peers. The family of O.J. Simpson…
Japanese Prime Minister Visits Biden To Learn How Not To Run A Country
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to learn an important lesson from a failing US president, Japanese Prime Minister Fumio Kishida visited Joe Biden this week to study the horrible job Biden…
After Backwards Gun Scope Gaffe, US Navy Uploads New Updated Photo
U.S.-- After deleting an Instagram photo of a Navy officer holding a gun with its scope on backwards, the US Navy quickly reuploaded an updated photo showing the same officer…
