PARIS, FRANCE– In what some are calling a smooth, lateral transition from United States government worker to perverted, bondage-themed Balenciaga model, Dr. Anthony Fauci announced he has launched a new modeling career working for the controversial high-end clothing brand.
A spokesperson for Balenciaga, which recently came under fire for sexualized teddy bear photos with children, said they’re thrilled to work with such a diabolical, depraved dog-torturer as Fauci and that he will be a perfect addition to the clothing company’s respectable brand.
“We’re proud to have such a wholesome and virtuous man as Dr. Fauci model our clothing,” said Balenciaga spokesperson John Wayne Gacy while dressed as a clown. “Mr. Fauci comes highly recommended as a man of dignity and honor by other principled people such as Hunter Biden and Harvey Weinstein.”
Fauci says that he feels right at home modeling in sadomasochistic poses being that he’s worked in Washington D.C. for the last fifty years, which he pointed out makes Balenciaga look like child’s play.
“I’ve been knee-deep in violence, demonic symbolism, and torture for the last fifty years down in Washington,” said Fauci jokingly as he modeled a new line of sexy lingerie covered in Satan’s blood. “People need to lighten up. This dangerous extremism of disagreeing with demonic clothing photoshoots has no place in my father Satan’s new world order.”
When reached for comment, Satan said he was proud of the work his son Fauci has been doing and then urged everyone to go out and get vaccinated with the COVID shot.
