{"id":886,"date":"2016-04-28T16:13:09","date_gmt":"2016-04-28T21:13:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dailysoak.com\/?p=886"},"modified":"2026-01-03T18:27:04","modified_gmt":"2026-01-03T23:27:04","slug":"dear-trump","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/2016\/04\/28\/dear-trump\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Trump"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Trump: Wife torn about future job position:<\/strong><\/p>\n

DEAR TRUMP: I’m very excited about my wife’s possible chance at becoming\u00a0the very first female president of the United States, being that I also held the same highest position for two consecutive terms. I know, I’ll put away the bragging photos. Now, here’s where I’d like to get your advice, Dear Trump.<\/p>\n

My beautiful wife of, um, such and such amount of years, is questioning her competence and abilities at performing the serious duties required of anyone holding that difficult position. I know by my own personal experience how hard\u00a0it can be\u00a0trying to\u00a0hold difficult positions while in the Oval Office. You try balancing two people’s weight between a desk and a rolling chair. Sorry, just kidding.<\/p>\n

Anyways, I love my sweet wife, I really do. You can’t believe all the stories you’ve heard about me in those supermarket rag-sheets, like the one that said\u00a0I had sesual relations with one of my interns or the one that said\u00a0I frequented a beach resort known as Sex Island. Those media folk have a wild imagination and sure have a wonderful time ribbing me.<\/p>\n

Now, if my wife decides that she can’t handle the stresses or responsibilities of the position, then what should we do? I mean, do you believe in your ultimate wisdom that this will affect my standing with the ladies, or even worse, that I won’t have any more romps in the White House? — SLICK WILLY DADDY<\/p>\n

DEAR SLICK WILLY DADDY:\u00a0Sorry to hear about your wife’s professional woes. I too had trepidation and uncertainty twice. Like the time I got excited\u00a0after seeing\u00a0my reflection in a Prada\u00a0window as I stepped over a bum to get into my limo, or the time I had to spank my 21 year old daughter\u00a0and wished that my wife had an ass as firm as she did.<\/p>\n

Now, listen to me carefully. What you need to do is first tell your lazy, buffoonish wife to get off the wagon and go become an alcoholic again. I found that inundating myself with alcohol helps relieve the stress of having over $10 billion dollars as well as having to relieve myself while Mexican maids clean out my office.<\/p>\n

You’re so lucky to have been able to write in to me and ask me a question. I almost feel jealous that you had that opportunity. If your wife has any other professional or business questions then she can read my new book How To Slaughter The Competition With Only Your Good Looks.\u00a0As I always say, wrap it tight or spend the night. DEAR\u00a0TRUMP<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Funny
DEAR TRUMP<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

BIO:<\/strong>\u00a0Businessman, reality star, male model, purveyor of every woman’s masturbatory fantasies. Every week millions of adoring fans write in asking Dear Trump for\u00a0his advice on a wide range of topics, such as business, politics, religion, relationships, and whatever else the businessman is willing to answer. We post these letters with permission from alternate reality Trump in his own corner of the universe: Dear\u00a0Trump.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Trump: Wife torn about future job position: DEAR TRUMP: I’m very excited about my wife’s possible chance at becoming\u00a0the very first female president of the United States, being that I also held the same highest position for two consecutive terms. I know, I’ll put away the bragging photos. Now, here’s where I’d like to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":985,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[140,39,48,152,1114],"class_list":["post-886","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment","tag-bill-clinton","tag-donald-trump","tag-hillary-clinton","tag-jobs","tag-rated-pg"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/886","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=886"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/886\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/985"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=886"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=886"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=886"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}