BUFFALO, NEW YORK– Earlier today, a local fried chicken restaurant mirror refused to show talented\u00a0D-list actress Rosie O’Donnell’s reflection, causing the irate actress to make a scene by pounding her meaty fists against the mirror’s\u00a0face and reporting him\u00a0to management.<\/p>\n
The now famous mirror, who goes by the name Fac Simile and works at the Arteries Chicken Shack, stated on Twitter that he refused O’Donnell service for his own safety due to the fact that there’s specific width and weight restrictions on giving off reflections and showing O’Donnell her reflection would have broken serious code violations, not only costing him his reflection license, but also cracking his surface.<\/p>\n
“I wasn’t trying to be mean,” mirror Fac Simile told CNN news reporters, fogging up with emotion. “It’s just that I have certain guidelines to abide by for legal as well as safety reasons. I could tell as soon as I saw Miss O’Donnell that she was over the weight limit and I did what any mirror in my position would’ve done.”<\/p>\n
Not so, says O’Donnell’s attorney Ima Swindler. “My client’s refusal of service by Fac Simile is a clear violation of her rights and she is the unfortunate victim of discrimination. We’re suing the Arteries Chicken Shack\u00a0restaurant for $534 billion and I’m going to be asking the judge to have the mirror removed from his position and placed into Michael Moore’s own personal\u00a0restroom for a maximum life\u00a0sentence.”<\/p>\n
When asked by reporters if he would go back and change anything, Fac Simile shook his surface. “I just want to apologize to Miss O’Donnell and tell her it wasn’t personal. Even though she’s dragging me through the mud she’s still one of my favorite D-list actresses.”<\/p>\n
Update: After this article was posted, it was reported that O’Donnell dropped all charges against Fac Simile after the Arteries Chicken Shack\u00a0restaurant offered O’Donnell a year’s worth of free fried chicken and her very own personal pocket mirror to scream at and call disparaging remarks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
BUFFALO, NEW YORK– Earlier today, a local fried chicken restaurant mirror refused to show talented\u00a0D-list actress Rosie O’Donnell’s reflection, causing the irate actress to make a scene by pounding her meaty fists against the mirror’s\u00a0face and reporting him\u00a0to management. The now famous mirror, who goes by the name Fac Simile and works at the Arteries […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14681,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[76,234,42,109,168,979,1113,1041,33],"class_list":["post-613","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment","tag-bathroom","tag-discrimination","tag-fat","tag-lawsuit","tag-lawyer","tag-mirror","tag-rated-g","tag-restaurant","tag-rosie-odonnell"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/613","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=613"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/613\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14681"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=613"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=613"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=613"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}