HICKSVILLE, MONTANA– Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was pegged in the head today by\u00a0a cough drop thrown by a supposedly\u00a0perturbed rally-goer.<\/p>\n
While giving a hoarse speech at a rally in Hicksville, Mrs. Clinton was knocked to the floor of the stage after the cough drop struck her on the side of the head, causing secret service detail to immediately tackle the disruptive cough drop-throwing lunatic in what is now\u00a0being\u00a0described in various reputable\u00a0news media outlets as the “cough drop smack\u00a0heard ’round the world.”<\/p>\n
In a phone interview with a member of\u00a0Daily Soak\u00a0staff, fifty-five year old custodian Harold Rooftrap, the alleged cough drop maniac, said that he was only trying to do Secretary of State Mrs. Clinton a favor.<\/p>\n
“She wouldn’t stop coughing,” Harold Rooftrap stated over the phone to\u00a0Daily Soak\u00a0staff in a raspy voice of his own. “She kept clearing her darned throat and I couldn’t hear a darned word she was saying. Her face was turning red and at one point she even popped a pill. I thought maybe she had a cold.”<\/p>\n
When asked if he’ll still vote for Mrs. Clinton come election time, Harold Rooftrap\u00a0smiled and nodded. “Aw heck, it’s gonna take more than being tackled by secret service, a few threats on my family, and being placed on an NSA spy list to stop me from voting for Miss Clinton. Me being a janitor, I know what it takes to clean up this here country and I know Miss Clinton’s the right janitor for the job.”<\/p>\n
Update:<\/strong>\u00a0Hours after this report, Harold Rooftrap was reported missing by an anonymous source.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" HICKSVILLE, MONTANA– Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was pegged in the head today by\u00a0a cough drop thrown by a supposedly\u00a0perturbed rally-goer. While giving a hoarse speech at a rally in Hicksville, Mrs. Clinton was knocked to the floor of the stage after the cough drop struck her on the side of the head, causing secret service […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5148,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[227,386,48,744,319,73,1113,387],"class_list":["post-47","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-politics","tag-campaign","tag-cough-drop","tag-hillary-clinton","tag-murder","tag-nsa","tag-rally","tag-rated-g","tag-secret-service"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5148"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}