{"id":4024,"date":"2017-11-25T11:29:27","date_gmt":"2017-11-25T16:29:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dailysoak.com\/?p=4024"},"modified":"2022-01-22T21:52:44","modified_gmt":"2022-01-23T02:52:44","slug":"man-plans-on-proving-earth-is-square-by-launching-into-space","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/2017\/11\/25\/man-plans-on-proving-earth-is-square-by-launching-into-space\/","title":{"rendered":"Man Plans On Proving Earth Is Square By Launching Into Space"},"content":{"rendered":"

WICHITA, KANSAS– A part-time janitor from Wichita who believes that the earth is square is set to launch into space on a homemade rocket.<\/p>\n

Zachary “Insane” Pazzo, a 59 year old man who learned how to build rockets after watching a YouTube video<\/a>, told reporters that he’ll be launching his YouTube-inspired rocket out of his own driveway, traveling about 800 mph.<\/p>\n

The janitor says that he needed to obtain a yard sale permit from the city to be able to launch his rocket legally from his front yard.<\/p>\n

After spending the $10 on the permit, city officials gave Pazzo the green-light to go ahead with takeoff.<\/p>\n

“The government seemed more concerned with getting their ten bucks,” Pazzo said as he fueled his rocket for next week’s launch.<\/p>\n

\"Parody
Zachary “Insane” Pazzo posing in front of his homemade rocket. Next week he plans on launching from his own driveway, causing quite a buzz on Flat Earth Discord.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

With all the flat-earthers now jumping on the square-earth bandwagon, many dating sites like “Square Earth Singles For Former Flat-Earthers” have been popping up as a way to bring these people together.<\/p>\n

As the flat-earth philosophy continues to fade, more and more people are turning to square-earth theories. Numerous former flat-earthers are even toying with the idea<\/a> that the earth may in fact be triangular in shape.<\/p>\n

“I thought about that too,” says Pazzo in regards to the even newer triangle-earth theory. “If for some reason my square-earth theory fails, then I already have plans on investigating all these new claims being made by triangle-earthers.”<\/p>\n

According to recent polls, square-earthers now outnumber flat-earthers, with triangle-earthers, octagon-earthers, and invisible-earthers coming in third, fourth, and fifth.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

WICHITA, KANSAS– A part-time janitor from Wichita who believes that the earth is square is set to launch into space on a homemade rocket. Zachary “Insane” Pazzo, a 59 year old man who learned how to build rockets after watching a YouTube video, told reporters that he’ll be launching his YouTube-inspired rocket out of his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4025,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[1000,753,1113,754,55,999,1001,303],"class_list":["post-4024","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-u-s-news","tag-earth","tag-flat-earth","tag-rated-g","tag-rocket","tag-science","tag-space","tag-world","tag-youtube"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4024","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4024"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4024\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4025"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4024"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4024"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4024"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}