WASHINGTON \u2014 Senate Majority Leader John Thune awarded himself the prestigious Congressional Medal of Distinguished Inaction Friday, honoring his own two-year record of accomplishing virtually nothing while somehow managing to remain gainfully employed.<\/p>\n
The ceremony, held outside Thune’s office and attended by several Republican colleagues who were reportedly instructed to applaud at regular intervals, celebrated what the South Dakota senator described as an unprecedented commitment to maintaining the status quo, avoiding difficult decisions, obstructing President Trump’s agenda, and ensuring that virtually nothing of consequence happened on his watch.<\/p>\n
“I’m incredibly proud of what I’ve been able to not accomplish over the past two years,” said Sen. John Thune, holding up the gold medal for news reporters. “It takes a special kind of leadership to spend so much time in Washington without allowing the demands of the American people to interfere with the work of Washington.”<\/p>\n
Thune went on to praise his ability to keep legislation from moving forward, avoid unnecessary confrontations with powerful interests, and preserve his position of authority despite mounting frustration among Republican voters.<\/p>\n
He also highlighted his remarkable consistency in offering assurances that progress was being made while ensuring that no actual progress was required.<\/p>\n