{"id":37850,"date":"2026-08-28T09:20:27","date_gmt":"2026-08-28T14:20:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/?p=37850"},"modified":"2026-08-28T09:20:27","modified_gmt":"2026-08-28T14:20:27","slug":"canada-retaliates-against-america-by-instructing-border-guards-to-aggressively-roll-their-eyes-at-u-s-passports","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/2026\/08\/28\/canada-retaliates-against-america-by-instructing-border-guards-to-aggressively-roll-their-eyes-at-u-s-passports\/","title":{"rendered":"Canada Retaliates Against America By Instructing Border Guards To Aggressively Roll Their Eyes At U.S. Passports"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>OTTAWA, ONTARIO \u2014 Following the sudden collapse of trade negotiations and the imposition of brutal 50% U.S. tariffs on Canadian exports, Canada dramatically escalated its ongoing trade war with the United States Thursday after Prime Minister Mark Carney announced that Canadian border guards would begin aggressively rolling their eyes whenever handed a United States passport.<\/p>\n<p>The <a href=\"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/2026\/08\/23\/mark-carney-caves-on-tariffs-after-trump-threatens-to-return-ted-cruz-to-canada\/\">Prime Minister\u2019s Office<\/a> released a stern press briefing declaring the new passive-aggressive mandate would take effect immediately at all Canadian ports of entry and was designed to emotionally cripple the American tourism sector.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe have tried playing nice, and we have tried basic macroeconomic reasoning, but the time for politeness is officially over,\u201d Carney told reporters. \u201cIf Washington wants to treat Canada like a hostile corporate acquisition, they are going to face the full, unbridled force of Canadian annoyance.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The new directive, heavily monitored by the Canada Border Services Agency (CBSA), mandates several aggressive tactical measures at all entry points:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>The Heavy Sigh: Guards must deeply exhale while inspecting American license plates, ensuring the driver feels a profound, lingering sense of generalized guilt.<\/li>\n<li>The Slow Hand-Back: Processed passports will be returned at a 30% slower speed, accompanied by a prolonged stare of quiet, parental disappointment.<\/li>\n<li>The \u2018Have a Good One\u2019 Ban: Border agents are strictly forbidden from wishing Americans a pleasant stay, permanently replacing the national greeting with a flat, chilling \u201cDrive safe, I guess.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Asked what the US response would be, Trump said the United States was considering several options, including instructing U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers to stare blankly at Canadian passports for up to three seconds.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>OTTAWA, ONTARIO \u2014 Following the sudden collapse of trade negotiations and the imposition of brutal 50% U.S. tariffs on Canadian exports, Canada dramatically escalated its ongoing trade war with the United States Thursday after Prime Minister Mark Carney announced that Canadian border guards would begin aggressively rolling their eyes whenever handed a United States passport. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":37851,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[259,1113],"class_list":["post-37850","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-world","tag-canada","tag-rated-g"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37850","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37850"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37850\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/37851"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37850"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37850"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37850"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}