{"id":37571,"date":"2026-07-25T12:43:22","date_gmt":"2026-07-25T17:43:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/?p=37571"},"modified":"2026-07-25T12:43:22","modified_gmt":"2026-07-25T17:43:22","slug":"ilhan-omar-argues-embezzling-250-million-was-victimless-crime-since-kids-were-made-up-anyway","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/2026\/07\/25\/ilhan-omar-argues-embezzling-250-million-was-victimless-crime-since-kids-were-made-up-anyway\/","title":{"rendered":"Ilhan Omar Argues Embezzling $250 Million Was Victimless Crime Since Kids Were Made Up Anyway"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA \u2014 Standing before a crowded press pool on Friday, Representative Ilhan Omar offered a forceful defense of the associates and family members implicated in the staggering $250 million <em>Feeding Our Future<\/em> fraud scandal, arguing that stealing hundreds of millions in federal nutrition grants was a victimless crime because the starving children receiving the meals never actually existed.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;The federal government is acting like we took food directly out of the mouths of hungry toddlers,&#8221; Ilhan Omar told a visibly bewildered press corps. &#8220;But how can you starve a child who is just a randomly generated name on a fraudulent meal count sheet? If anything, by feeding completely imaginary dependents, my sister and her associates successfully eradicated childhood hunger in an entirely new, undiscovered demographic.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The Democrat congresswoman went on to clarify that since non-existent toddlers have a daily caloric intake requirement of exactly zero, her associates technically achieved 100% efficiency in meeting their nutritional needs. She suggested the $250 million payout should be viewed less as federal wire fraud and more as a &#8220;performance bonus for administrative <a href=\"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/2026\/04\/19\/ilhan-omar-blames-net-worth-error-on-hiring-accountant-who-got-his-math-degree-from-the-quality-learing-center\/\">Somali innovation<\/a>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It is incredibly Islamophobic for the FBI to expect taxpayer-funded meals to exist in the physical dimension,&#8221; Omar continued, visibly frustrated. &#8220;We provided these theoretical children with theoretical rice, and they thrived theoretically. I am incredibly proud of my family&#8217;s entrepreneurial spirit, and I will not let a minor detail like &#8216;rampant, systemic embezzlement&#8217; distract from their success.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>At press time, Omar&#8217;s legal team was reportedly drafting a counter-suit against the federal government, demanding the FBI pay child support for the 50,000 made-up children they had just orphaned by arresting the fraudsters.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA \u2014 Standing before a crowded press pool on Friday, Representative Ilhan Omar offered a forceful defense of the associates and family members implicated in the staggering $250 million Feeding Our Future fraud scandal, arguing that stealing hundreds of millions in federal nutrition grants was a victimless crime because the starving children receiving the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":37572,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[41,404,890,1113],"class_list":["post-37571","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-politics","tag-crime","tag-democrat","tag-ilhan-omar","tag-rated-g"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37571","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37571"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37571\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/37572"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}