SILVER SPRING, MARYLAND \u2014 In a landmark decision for the American diet industry, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration announced that it has officially approved Taco Bell as the nation’s newest prescription weight-loss medication following what officials described as extremely convincing gastrointestinal results.<\/p>\n
Following a highly successful, albeit entirely unintended, Phase III clinical trial in the Midwest involving shredded iceberg lettuce, the regulatory agency praised the fast-food chain\u2019s innovative approach to rapid gastric emptying.<\/p>\n
“Unlike expensive injectable medications that suppress appetite over several months, Taco Bell begins working almost immediately,” FDA Commissioner Marty Makary explained during a press conference. “Our data shows that patients prescribed a standard dose of three Crunchy Tacos and a large Baja Blast experienced unparalleled short-term results”<\/p>\n
Health officials praised Taco Bell for offering an affordable alternative to popular weight-loss medications, noting that a month’s supply can often be purchased for less than the average insurance copay.<\/p>\n
Participants lost an average of 14 pounds within 72 hours, with several reporting weight losses exceeding 20 pounds after opting for the Nachos BellGrande and two Beefy 5-Layer Burritos.<\/p>\n