{"id":37195,"date":"2026-06-01T10:44:59","date_gmt":"2026-06-01T15:44:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/?p=37195"},"modified":"2026-06-01T10:44:59","modified_gmt":"2026-06-01T15:44:59","slug":"greg-abbott-proudly-announces-he-has-finally-secured-enough-h-1b-visas-to-replace-every-last-worker-in-texas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/2026\/06\/01\/greg-abbott-proudly-announces-he-has-finally-secured-enough-h-1b-visas-to-replace-every-last-worker-in-texas\/","title":{"rendered":"Greg Abbott Proudly Announces He Has Finally Secured Enough H-1B Visas To Replace Every Last Worker In Texas"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>AUSTIN, TEXAS\u2014Standing in front of a massive &#8220;Texas First&#8221; banner and surrounded by Indian tech moguls, Republican Governor Greg Abbott triumphantly announced that his administration has successfully secured enough H-1B foreign worker visas to completely replace the state&#8217;s entire remaining native workforce with imported labor.<\/p>\n<p>During the historic press conference, Governor Abbott boasted that the sweeping initiative marks the culmination of his years-long effort to transform the state\u2019s demographics while maintaining a strict, tough-on-the-border public persona.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Today, we celebrate not just economic growth, but the end of Texas as you knew it,&#8221; a beaming Greg Abbott told a crowd of applauding real estate developers, tech executives, and corporate lobbyists. &#8220;For too long, our majestic suburban corporate parks have been burdened by the sluggish, demanding expectations of the local workforce. I am proud to report that as of this morning, we have finally imported enough overseas labor to ensure no native Texan will ever have to suffer the indignity of earning a paycheck again.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>According to the governor&#8217;s office, the final phase of the replacement program will begin next month, when the last remaining employed Texan\u2014a shift manager at a Lubbock Whataburger\u2014will be asked to train his <a href=\"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/2026\/05\/24\/rubio-secures-historic-deal-ensuring-indian-h-1b-workers-only-replace-american-in-blue-states\/\">H-1B replacement<\/a> before permanently vacating the premises.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Our bold initiative ensures that from oil rigs to McDonald\u2019s counters, no job will remain untouched by cheaper, more obedient labor.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>At press time, the Governor\u2019s office was reportedly finalizing a new state curriculum to replace high school football with mandatory cricket practice, while reassuring anxious residents that his own job and governor&#8217;s salary remain 100% immune to outsourcing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>AUSTIN, TEXAS\u2014Standing in front of a massive &#8220;Texas First&#8221; banner and surrounded by Indian tech moguls, Republican Governor Greg Abbott triumphantly announced that his administration has successfully secured enough H-1B foreign worker visas to completely replace the state&#8217;s entire remaining native workforce with imported labor. During the historic press conference, Governor Abbott boasted that the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":37196,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[61,1113,590],"class_list":["post-37195","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-politics","tag-india","tag-rated-g","tag-republican"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37195","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37195"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37195\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/37196"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}