{"id":36605,"date":"2026-03-05T13:37:02","date_gmt":"2026-03-05T18:37:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/?p=36605"},"modified":"2026-03-05T13:37:02","modified_gmt":"2026-03-05T18:37:02","slug":"u-s-unveils-israel-loyalty-punch-card-buy-10-congress-members-get-1-free-middle-east-war","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/2026\/03\/05\/u-s-unveils-israel-loyalty-punch-card-buy-10-congress-members-get-1-free-middle-east-war\/","title":{"rendered":"U.S. Unveils Israel Loyalty Punch Card: Buy 10 Congress Members, Get 1 Free Middle East War"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>WASHINGTON \u2014 In an effort to streamline a long-standing bipartisan tradition, the United States government unveiled a new Loyalty Rewards Punch Card program allowing Israel to earn a free Middle East war after every ten purchases of a U.S. Congress member.<\/p>\n<p>The program, administered jointly by the State Department and the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC), aims to reward Israel&#8217;s longstanding commitment to influencing American lawmakers through generous campaign contributions and all-expenses-paid trips to Tel Aviv.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;We&#8217;ve always appreciated our greatest ally,&#8221; said Senator Lindsey Graham at the official launch event. &#8220;This just makes it official what us corrupt politicians have already been doing for decades. Once Israel buys ten senators or representatives, they get a free war in the Middle East against the country of their choice. Israel gets free airstrikes on whoever&#8217;s next on the list from the world&#8217;s most powerful military.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"1\">The initiative introduces a wallet-sized, punch card for prominent <a href=\"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/2025\/08\/04\/mike-johnson-visits-israel-to-meet-with-his-constituents\/\">pro-Israel<\/a> lobbying groups, officially guaranteeing that for every ten U.S. Congress members purchased via Super PAC donations, the cardholder can redeem one complimentary, fully-funded U.S. military intervention in the Middle East.<\/p>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"1\">At press time, the U.S. government announced a digital app version of the punch card, which will send push notifications to lobbyists\u2019 phones whenever a newly elected freshman representative is financially vulnerable and ripe for purchase.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>WASHINGTON \u2014 In an effort to streamline a long-standing bipartisan tradition, the United States government unveiled a new Loyalty Rewards Punch Card program allowing Israel to earn a free Middle East war after every ten purchases of a U.S. Congress member. The program, administered jointly by the State Department and the American Israel Public Affairs [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":36610,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[153,121,1113],"class_list":["post-36605","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-politics","tag-congress","tag-israel","tag-rated-g"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36605","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36605"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36605\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/36610"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36605"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36605"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36605"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}