Islamic Republic\u2019s leadership<\/a>. The Council cited Achmed\u2019s unwavering commitment to explosive rhetoric and his proven track record of being already dead as the primary reasons for the appointment.<\/p>\n“We needed a leader who could not be intimidated by further airstrikes,” said a spokesperson for the Council, while Achmed was being removed from a blue suitcase that he had arrived in. “Since the new Supreme Leader is already a skeletal remains of a failed suicide bomber, the Zionists have nothing left to target. He is, quite literally, indestructible.”<\/p>\n
Achmed, a skeletal puppet originally introduced in comedian Jeff Dunham\u2019s comedy special, reportedly impressed council members during interviews with a fiery speech promising to rebuild Iran\u2019s military using very big bombs that absolutely will not explode prematurely this time.<\/p>\n
In response to the threat of annihilation from the new puppet leadership, Israel was left with no other alternative but to use the Samson Option and nuke the entire world.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
TEHRAN, IRAN \u2014 Following the sudden death of Iran\u2019s longtime Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei during recent airstrikes carried out by the United States and Israel, Iran\u2019s powerful ruling council convened an emergency meeting this week and have officially selected Achmed the Dead Terrorist as the successor. The decision comes following a week of frantic deliberation […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":36601,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[632,121,223,1114],"class_list":["post-36600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-world","tag-iran","tag-israel","tag-muslim","tag-rated-pg"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36600","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36600"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36600\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/36601"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36600"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36600"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36600"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}