OTTAWA, CANADA– After giving himself an internal performance review, Prime Minister Mark Carney announced today that he has unilaterally promoted himself to the newly invented position of Supreme Minister of Canada, a role that was reportedly created by Carney himself after he realized he was too good for the old title.<\/p>\n
Carney explained that he gave himself the promotion because he felt as though he had exceeded expectations across every measurable ego metric since he became Prime Minister.<\/p>\n
“After careful consideration, I realized I\u2019ve been operating several levels above prime minister for quite some time,” Carney told reporters, standing in front of a placard with the new Supreme Minister title. “After a thorough performance review of myself, I decided that I had earned the promotion to Supreme Minister and I was the most qualified for the job.”<\/p>\n
The Supreme Minister went on to say that even though the new role comes with numerous new perks including a pay raise and more vacation time, the job responsibilities will remain the same.<\/p>\n
Due to doing a much better job at being the Supreme Minister than any other Canadian in history, Mark Carney had decided to give himself another promotion to the even higher title of Ultimate Minister.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
OTTAWA, CANADA– After giving himself an internal performance review, Prime Minister Mark Carney announced today that he has unilaterally promoted himself to the newly invented position of Supreme Minister of Canada, a role that was reportedly created by Carney himself after he realized he was too good for the old title. Carney explained that he […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":36145,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[259,1404,1113],"class_list":["post-36144","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-world","tag-canada","tag-mark-carney","tag-rated-g"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36144","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36144"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36144\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/36145"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36144"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36144"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36144"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}