WASHINGTON– In an effort to expedite immigration enforcement and cut federal spending, the Department of Homeland Security announced today that it is scrapping the proposed $3,000 cash incentive for voluntary repatriation and “sweetening the pot,” replacing it with a far more valuable promotional photo from Season 1 of The Apprentice, personally signed by President Donald Trump.<\/p>\n
“We looked at the data and asked ourselves, ‘What does every person on earth want more than American citizenship?'” said DHS Director Kristi Noem during a recent Fox News interview. “A signed photo of the host of NBC\u2019s highest-rated business reality show. We are giving these illegal aliens a piece of American history that will likely appreciate in value faster than the currency of whatever country they are returning to.”<\/p>\n
Under the new program, any illegal immigrant who voluntarily books a one-way flight out of the country within the next 48 hours will receive the coveted signed photo of Trump upon boarding.<\/p>\n
Early reports from border towns suggest the strategy is already working, with thousands of illegal migrants already fleeing the United States in an effort to get their hands on the coveted Trump signed photo.<\/p>\n
“I was planning to stay and fight my asylum case,” said Juan Martinez, a father of three currently residing in El Paso. “But after the officer showed me the Trump photo, I couldn’t wait to go back to my third world shithole of a country. This picture of Mr. Trump is worth more than all the money in the world.”<\/p>\n
Kristi Noem stated that the program has been so successful that illegal aliens have been spotted trying to jump over the border just to be able to get their hands on the irresistible merchandise.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
WASHINGTON– In an effort to expedite immigration enforcement and cut federal spending, the Department of Homeland Security announced today that it is scrapping the proposed $3,000 cash incentive for voluntary repatriation and “sweetening the pot,” replacing it with a far more valuable promotional photo from Season 1 of The Apprentice, personally signed by President Donald […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":35307,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[39,880,1113,117],"class_list":["post-35306","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-politics","tag-donald-trump","tag-illegal-alien","tag-rated-g","tag-tv"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35306","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35306"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35306\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/35307"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35306"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35306"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35306"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}