WASHINGTON– In a shocking display of moral clarity, the Democrat Party has announced plans to combat President Donald Trump’s alleged fascism by setting fire to the White House. The move, hailed as “bold” and “necessary” by party leaders, aims to “save democracy” by destroying its physical embodiment.<\/p>\n
“We cannot let fascist Trump’s fascist regime continue to desecrate the halls of power with his fascist presence,” declared Senator Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, brandishing a Molotov cocktail while counting how many times she said “fascist.” “The only way to truly resist is to reduce the White House to ashes-just like the Nazis did in Germany!”<\/p>\n
Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi added, “This is not violence; it’s self-defense. We’re not burning down a building-we’re liberating the nation from Mr. Trump’s tyranny. The only way to save democracy is to burn down Mr. Trump’s fascism.”<\/p>\n
The plan, codenamed “Operation Molotov Mandate,” involves a three-pronged attack: the idea known as Antifa will create a diversion at the front gates while mostly peaceful BLM activists breach the rear with a battering ram. Meanwhile, a team of “trans furries” will douse the building in gasoline harvested from Tesla electric cars.<\/p>\n
When asked about potential casualties, Rep. Ilhan Omar shrugged. “Collateral damage is a small price to pay for freedom. Besides, Trump supporters are basically human shields for fascism.”<\/p>\n
Critics have pointed out the hypocrisy of using arson to fight authoritarianism, but Democrats remain undeterred. “Fascism demands drastic measures,” said Sen. Bernie Sanders, adjusting his flame-retardant suit. “And if that means torching the White House, so be it. After all, I’ve been advocating for the abolition of private property for decades, other than my four homes of course-so why not start with the Nazi White House?”<\/p>\n