RIO\u00a0DE JANEIRO– Dominating the first-round of the 100 meter was the newcomer known only as Carrot. Carrot easily beat out fan favorite Usain Bolt with a time of 6.09, which qualified him for the semifinals and also set a world record.<\/p>\n
Carrot electrified the crowd with his insane abilities, pointing\u00a0his long, slender frame forward\u00a0to minimize any wind resistance.<\/p>\n
“He looked like an orange torpedo on the track,” said Carrot’s\u00a0new fans after the race. “The only thing I’ll remember seeing is this long orange blur among a sea of brown men.”<\/p>\n
Little is known about Carrot, other than that he escaped from a field as a baby Carrot\u00a0after a\u00a0farmer came over to pick him during harvest. When asked by reporters how he became the fastest runner in the world, Carrot attests his skills to constant training and a diet rich in\u00a0carrot cake.<\/p>\n
During the last few seconds of the race, Carrot stopped to brush back his wavy green hair after realizing that Bolt and the rest of the runners were way behind him.<\/p>\n
“It’s called psychological warfare,” Carrot’s coach said after the race. “Carrot’s known to toy with his competition. Ya know, mess with the other guy’s heads. I don’t wanna give away any names, but before the race he sent a glass of carrot juice to his main competition. And we all know who that was.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
RIO\u00a0DE JANEIRO– Dominating the first-round of the 100 meter was the newcomer known only as Carrot. Carrot easily beat out fan favorite Usain Bolt with a time of 6.09, which qualified him for the semifinals and also set a world record. Carrot electrified the crowd with his insane abilities, pointing\u00a0his long, slender frame forward\u00a0to minimize […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3346,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[100],"tags":[606,607,232,1113,604,605],"class_list":["post-3344","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-sports","tag-100-meter","tag-carrot","tag-olympics","tag-rated-g","tag-rio","tag-usain-bolt"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3344","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3344"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3344\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3346"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3344"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3344"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3344"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}