{"id":31382,"date":"2024-12-20T16:33:36","date_gmt":"2024-12-20T21:33:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/?p=31382"},"modified":"2024-12-20T16:33:36","modified_gmt":"2024-12-20T21:33:36","slug":"gavin-newsom-issues-new-poop-scented-masks-so-you-can-still-smell-california-while-masked-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/20\/gavin-newsom-issues-new-poop-scented-masks-so-you-can-still-smell-california-while-masked-up\/","title":{"rendered":"Gavin Newsom Issues New Poop-Scented Masks So You Can Still Smell California While Masked Up"},"content":{"rendered":"

SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA– After declaring a state of emergency over rising cases of bird flu, Governor Gavin Newsom has announced that he will be issuing all-new poop-scented disposable masks to state residents so that everyone can still smell the rotten stench of California while they’re masked up.<\/p>\n

While wearing one of the new brown, poop-scented masks, Newsom<\/a> gave a press conference to announce that he has brought back the mask mandate and will be shipping out the poop masks to all California citizens this week.<\/p>\n

“Great news, California, the mask mandate is back,” said Gavin Newsom as he laughed behind the brown mask. “My health department, in conjunction with local news media, has contrived a new mass hysteria of another fake viral pandemic just so I can control my subjects with an iron fist, and that includes forcing everyone to mask up. But not to worry, my new poop-scented masks will still let everyone enjoy that wonderful smell of homeless poop wafting through my state.”<\/p>\n

Newsom<\/a> went on to say that the new poop-scented masks will be free of charge, other than a small tax of $669 per person to cover the costs related to the fecal-fragranced face masks.<\/p>\n

At publishing time, a controversial photo began circulating on social media of Gavin Newsom dining inside of a restaurant wearing a Florida ocean air-scented mask rather than one of his California poop masks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA– After declaring a state of emergency over rising cases of bird flu, Governor Gavin Newsom has announced that he will be issuing all-new poop-scented disposable masks to state residents so that everyone can still smell the rotten stench of California while they’re masked up. While wearing one of the new brown, poop-scented masks, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":31383,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[857,1262,747,666,1114],"class_list":["post-31382","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-politics","tag-california","tag-gavin-newsom","tag-mask","tag-poop","tag-rated-pg"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31382","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31382"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31382\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/31383"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31382"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31382"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31382"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}