WASHINGTON– After spending over a billion dollars to beat Donald Trump and still losing in a landslide, failed presidential candidate Kamala Harris began wondering if she could get that old McDonald’s job she lied about to help slowly pay off the $20 million of debt she ended up with for her losing campaign.<\/p>\n
While downing a few vodka shots to get up the courage to call the McDonald’s restaurant she claimed to have worked at decades ago, Kamala phoned the local fast-food restaurant near her home and begged the manager to give her the old job back that she never actually had<\/a> in the first place.<\/p>\n “I’m calling in regard to the job I lied about having before I became a politician,” said Kamala nervously over the phone, trying to restrain her cackling. “You guys remember me, right? I was that little Indian, but sometimes black, girl who didn’t really work there, but I really need that job to get myself back on my feet and off my knees. If you know what I mean?”<\/p>\n Kamala went on to explain that she’s willing to take up a couple extra shifts a week in addition to her main fulltime, useless job of border czar and vice president of the United States.<\/p>\n