TEL AVIV, ISRAEL– In a last-ditch effort to promote peace in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, Jewish Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has officially converted to Islam and now goes by the name Salim\u00a0Habeebullah Ishaq Tajammal, preferring to abbreviate his newly adopted \u00a0name to S.H.I.T. to make it easier for everyone to pronounce.<\/p>\n
At a fundraising\u00a0peace rally held at Shekel’s Sports Bar in Tel Aviv, Netanyahu, aka S.H.I.T, gave a heartwarming speech in front of a mixed crowd of sixty-thousand Jews and Muslims, while everyone enjoyed the $.05 off beer special.<\/p>\n
“I just want the entire world to know,” S.H.I.T.\u00a0said\u00a0to the inebriated\u00a0crowd,\u00a0wearing\u00a0a black burka to cover his thinning hair, “that I speak on behalf off all the world’s Jews, Muslims, Christians, Hindus, Buddhists, Satanists\u00a0and atheists.”<\/p>\n
The diverse crowd of opposing religions erupted into cheers and chants of ‘Tear down that wall’, referring to the ninety-foot high, machine-gun protected concrete wall separating isolationist Israel from the rest of the world.<\/p>\n
“And I want each and every one of you, my brothers and sisters, to know,” S.H.I.T. added as he held up a piece of cardboard with a crayon drawing on it of Israel and Palestine kissing, “that Israel will become the multicultural, non-monolithic society that once set us apart from the rest of the world.”<\/p>\n
Surprisingly, S.H.I.T. has his critics.<\/p>\n
“I don’t believe him,” said 53 year old Rabbi Mordechai Cohen from\u00a0Israel’s sometimes capital Jerusalem. “S.H.I.T.’s been known to pull these kinds of stunts before to gain the trust of the Palestinians\u00a0for fodder for his part-time job as a stand-up comedian. One time he pretended to be the Prime Minister of Israel just so he could make jokes about the holocaust. It’s sickening.”<\/p>\n
But S.H.I.T. wants everyone to know that this is no laughing matter.<\/p>\n
“Of course I have my detractors,” he said as his eyes welled up with emotion. “No one believes me anymore because of one stunt I pulled back in the day when I changed my last name to Netanyahu. People don’t seem to forget anything around here, except for when it’s time to sign up for their military service.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
TEL AVIV, ISRAEL– In a last-ditch effort to promote peace in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, Jewish Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has officially converted to Islam and now goes by the name Salim\u00a0Habeebullah Ishaq Tajammal, preferring to abbreviate his newly adopted \u00a0name to S.H.I.T. to make it easier for everyone to pronounce. At a fundraising\u00a0peace rally held […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5302,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[122,123,224,121,124,223,225,40,1114],"class_list":["post-308","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-world","tag-benjamin-netanyahu","tag-holocaust","tag-islam","tag-israel","tag-jewish","tag-muslim","tag-palestine","tag-political","tag-rated-pg"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/308","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=308"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/308\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5302"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=308"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=308"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=308"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}