AUSTRALIA– WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was finally released from prison and immediately got onto a plane and headed back to his home country of Australia, where a mysterious but oddly familiar limousine driver was waiting to pick him up.<\/p>\n
“Your limo is right here, sir,” said the blonde-haired limo driver as she opened the door for a confused Assange. “Pleasure to see you again, I mean, for the first time. My name’s, um, Haley Clifford and I’ll be your assassin, I mean, chauffeur this evening.”<\/p>\n
Julian Assange reluctantly got into the limo right before the driver got inside of the car and then proceeded to lock all the doors and roll up the windows.<\/p>\n
“This limo’s soundproof, so no one will hear you scream, sir, not that you’ll be screaming or anything,” said the limo driver as she cackled like a witch and then took off like a bat out of hell. “Say, um, Mr. Assange, congratulations on your freedom. I really hope you live a very long and happy life without any kind of accidents or without getting shot in the back of the head multiple times and then thrown into a dumpster.”<\/p>\n
At publishing time it was reported that the limo carrying Assange had gone missing and the only pieces of evidence found were a pair of black sunglasses and limousine driver’s hat left on the ground near a large pool of blood.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
AUSTRALIA– WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was finally released from prison and immediately got onto a plane and headed back to his home country of Australia, where a mysterious but oddly familiar limousine driver was waiting to pick him up. “Your limo is right here, sir,” said the blonde-haired limo driver as she opened the door […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":29784,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[1305,48,1114],"class_list":["post-29783","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-world","tag-australia","tag-hillary-clinton","tag-rated-pg"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29783","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29783"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29783\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/29784"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29783"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29783"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29783"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}