SUNDANCE, WYOMING– A denim shirt died late last night after getting hit by a car, causing numerous clothing rights groups to take to the media in search of the hit and run driver.<\/p>\n
Denny Cotton, a 2 year old long-sleeve, was walking alone on the desolate\u00a0Death Trap Highway in Sundance around\u00a011:30 pm on his way home from work when he was struck by a hit and run driver. Police are asking anyone with information about the hit and run incident to please contact authorities.<\/p>\n
“We need the public’s assistance on this one,” said Captain Gary Hextall to Fox News reporters. “Unfortunately, the deceased was walking alone on a desolate highway at night, so we don’t have much to go by.”<\/p>\n
Dina Justice, head of the clothing rights group People For The Ethical Treatment Of Denim Shirts<\/em>, says that something needs to be done about all the denim shirt deaths occurring around the country.<\/p>\n “We lost another innocent denim shirt today,” she said heatedly on the steps of the local police station. “How many denim shirts have to die before our government actually does something to protect them, huh? Just three days ago another denim shirt fell victim to a human’s ineptitude after a woman accidentally put the shirt on a strong cycle with hot water in her washing machine.”<\/p>\n A memorial service will be held for Denny Cotton in a back alleyway where he’ll be rinsed off and given to a homeless person to wear.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" SUNDANCE, WYOMING– A denim shirt died late last night after getting hit by a car, causing numerous clothing rights groups to take to the media in search of the hit and run driver. Denny Cotton, a 2 year old long-sleeve, was walking alone on the desolate\u00a0Death Trap Highway in Sundance around\u00a011:30 pm on his way […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2801,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[957,35,472,473,474,744,84,192,1114,969],"class_list":["post-2799","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-u-s-news","tag-clothing","tag-dead","tag-denim","tag-hit-and-run","tag-homicide","tag-murder","tag-police","tag-protest","tag-rated-pg","tag-shirt"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2799","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2799"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2799\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2801"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2799"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2799"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2799"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}