NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA– A vampire from New Orleans is suing a local pizza restaurant after biting into a slice of pizza and finding large chunks of garlic hidden under the cheese.<\/p>\n
The vampire, 345 year old Boris Sarcophagus, told the New Orleans Gazette<\/em> that he purchased a pizza pie from Carlo’s Pizza restaurant last week and specifically said that he didn’t want any garlic on it.<\/p>\n “I’m allergic to garlic,” Sarcophagus said, showing a reporter the rashes inside his oral cavity. “Every time I order pizza I tell them to make sure that they don’t<\/em> put any garlic on it, not even garlic powder. The last time I got near garlic I almost died and ended up in the emergency room on life-support.”<\/p>\n A lawyer for Sarcophagus says that employees at Carlo’s Pizza intentionally put garlic on the pizza to murder him.<\/p>\n “This’s a case of attempted homicide,” said Rupert Giles, Sarcophagus’ lawyer. “My client informed the restaurant that he would suffer serious consequences if he consumed even a drop of garlic, but\u00a0the pizza makers put garlic on it anyway. My client also says that after he ordered the pizza he could hear Carlo’s Pizza workers snickering at his fangs and cape and saying that they don’t like Vampire-Americans.”<\/p>\n Sarcophagus is suing Carlo’s Pizza for either $121 billion or a year’s worth of free pizza at Carlo’s.<\/p>\n “They do have good pizza,” he added as he bit into the neck of an Italian hoagie.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA– A vampire from New Orleans is suing a local pizza restaurant after biting into a slice of pizza and finding large chunks of garlic hidden under the cheese. The vampire, 345 year old Boris Sarcophagus, told the New Orleans Gazette that he purchased a pizza pie from Carlo’s Pizza restaurant last week […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":36051,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[971,109,168,456,1113,455],"class_list":["post-2759","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-u-s-news","tag-garlic","tag-lawsuit","tag-lawyer","tag-pizza","tag-rated-g","tag-vampire"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2759","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2759"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2759\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/36051"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2759"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2759"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2759"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}