LONDON, ENGLAND– Making the rounds in numerous British news sources is the shocking discovery that the Queen of England’s most prized headpiece has been found\u00a0in a strip club located in a seedier part of town.<\/p>\n
According to Buckingham Palace spokesman Nigel Farrington, the crown that was retrieved from the Banders Boobs strip club last Friday was not the infamous crown belonging to Her Majesty, rather a fake knockoff.<\/p>\n
“This is rubbish,” said Farrington with his nose up in the air. “Her Royal Majesty has never frequented such a place.”<\/p>\n
Not so, says numerous Banders Boobs patrons from the night in question.<\/p>\n
“Oh yes, she’s always in here on Friday\u00a0nights,” said 49 year old Angus Breckinbridge of Liverpool. “She always makes her way in here wearing a beard and sunglasses, looking dodgy. Thing is, she never takes off the crown. All the blokes ’round here know her as the Friday night crumpet, I tell ya.”<\/p>\n
News of the controversy spread fast, but surprisingly has actually increased the queen’s popularity numbers.<\/p>\n
“She’s one of us, she is,” 22 year old stripper\u00a0Gwendolyn Ainsworth said while giving a customer a lap-dance. “Now that I know the old boiler\u00a0comes in here, maybe I’ll give her a bog and a chin-wag back in our fancy room.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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