FAUNA, RHODE ISLAND– A man whose house plant was born male\u00a0has received the first trans-plant in the United States at the Fauna Medical Center, now recognizing the plant as a female.<\/p>\n
Lou Fern, a 48 year old florist from Oakwood, sat in the hospital waiting room while his male plant underwent the\u00a015 hour trans-plant operation on May 5. The plant had all of its stamens removed, making this the first successful trans-plant procedure to date. Several trans-plant surgeries have been attempted in the past, but with little success. Plants that underwent the botched surgeries ended up being thrown into trashcans immediately afterwards.<\/p>\n
“My only concern is for my plant,” Mr. Fern told reporters while waiting for the surgery to finish. “I support my plant in his decision to become a woman and I hope that all this exposure helps other people to be able to accept their plants if they also choose\u00a0to undergo trans-plant surgery.”<\/p>\n
One of the trans-plant surgeons, 44 year old Dr. Mike Flora, was uncertain prior to the trans-plant surgery because these types of procedures are not only risky, but have very low success rates.<\/p>\n
“Yeah, I was kinda worried,” said Dr. Flora, his surgical scrubs covered in the plant’s dirt. “A lot of pressure was on our shoulders after all the past failures, so I did a little extra research on the best ways to rip off parts of plants. Don’t tell anyone, but I spent a little time in my neighbor’s yard ripping flowers off all his rose bushes.”<\/p>\n
If everything goes according to plan, says Dr. Flora, the trans-plant will finally get to live the life it was supposed to.<\/p>\n
“On the outside, this plant may have been male,” he said, “but internally he was born a woman. Who’re we to stop someone from being who they’re supposed to be. Now this trans-plant will finally be able to wear the clothes it feels most comfortable in, use whatever bathrooms it wants, and possibly get a reality show to showcase the experiment to the world.”<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, due to the government’s internal bickering, use of women’s bathrooms may have to be put on hold.<\/p>\n