{"id":20195,"date":"2022-05-03T07:50:57","date_gmt":"2022-05-03T12:50:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/?p=20195"},"modified":"2022-05-03T07:50:57","modified_gmt":"2022-05-03T12:50:57","slug":"jimmy-kimmel-tests-positive-for-lame","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/2022\/05\/03\/jimmy-kimmel-tests-positive-for-lame\/","title":{"rendered":"Jimmy Kimmel Tests Positive For LAME"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA&#8211; In a tearful opening monologue Monday night, late night host Jimmy Kimmel revealed to the world that he has tested positive for LAME, with his doctors informing him that he hasn&#8217;t been funny in a very long time.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I have some very upsetting and surprising news,&#8221; said Kimmel as he cried on camera. &#8220;I went in for a routine checkup of my comedy skills and that&#8217;s when my physicians told me that I&#8217;ve tested positive for being LAME and that my jokes are boring, stupid, and painfully unfunny.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Kimmel explained that he began feeling unwell the day President Donald Trump was removed from the Oval Office in January 2021, but he still refused to stop telling &#8220;orange man bad&#8221; jokes even though Joe Biden was the one inside the White House destroying the country.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;My doctors said I need to come up with some new material to be able to recover from my LAME sickness,&#8221; said Kimmel while most of his audience watched Dave Chappelle videos on their phones. &#8220;So starting today I&#8217;ll be going into self-quarantine to try to heal from this painful, humorless affliction.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The <a href=\"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/StagingSite\/index.php\/2022\/02\/14\/jimmy-kimmel-reveals-trump-is-his-man-crush-monday-on-valentines-day-special\/\"><em>Jimmy Kimmel Live!<\/em> <\/a>host says he plans on watching videos of actual funny comedians and then rewriting their jokes to make every single punchline about Trump.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;My sixty-nine viewers tune in to hear my latest Trump banter,&#8221; added Kimmel. &#8220;The only way I&#8217;ll recover from not being funny is if I make sure every joke has something to do with Trump.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>After Kimmel&#8217;s LAME diagnosis, many other boring late night hosts also tested positive for LAME, including Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, and Trevor Noah.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA&#8211; In a tearful opening monologue Monday night, late night host Jimmy Kimmel revealed to the world that he has tested positive for LAME, with his doctors informing him that he hasn&#8217;t been funny in a very long time. &#8220;I have some very upsetting and surprising news,&#8221; said Kimmel as he cried on camera. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":20196,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[34,39,95,1358,1113,166],"class_list":["post-20195","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment","tag-celebrity","tag-donald-trump","tag-hollywood","tag-jimmy-kimmel","tag-rated-g","tag-virus"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20195","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20195"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20195\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20196"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailysoak.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}